Its been a while

But I plan to keep it short and sweet.

Update: Marcus will be 17 weeks Tuesday. How time has flown by. Looking at him sleeping tonight makes me realize just how much I have been blessed. He is the sweetest and most lovable baby anyone could ever ask for. I am so in love with being a mother and thank God daily for each smile, giggle, and sound my little one makes. I believe that being a mother is the best thing that has happened to me. I love him with bits of my heart I never knew I had.

I love you baby Marcus - You are mommy's favorite!!!

Can't get enough....

More pictures

Pictures

Oops sorry steph I missed your tag

Here is the belated tag for the 21 Things you Dont know about me....

21.) When I was really young, I told my mom I wanted to be a firetruck when I grew up.

20.) My Great Grandma on my dad's side is said to have been a full blooded Cherokee Indian. Her name was Gladyolis Whitefeather ( Gladys White )

19.) I am a Huge Daddy's girl

18.) My mom and I have become SUPER close now too - So I am a momma's girl now too

17.) I like to shorten people's names....Steph, Jack (jackie), and ie......

16.) My favorite pet ever was a black and white kitten named Buddah

15.) I have had my heart broken a lot by stupid dumb boys

14.) My favorite color has always been yellow

13.) I have wanted to name a boy of mine after my favorite church hymn - Christian Soldier

12.) I dont really know what my natural hair color is - oh well

11.) My favorite nail polish for my toes is; Hot Pink with Sparkles on top

10.) I love everything vintage - even the way women looked way back when

9.) My biggest fear is being helpless - I HATE seeing people I love in pain with no way to help them

8.) I cannot whistle the way normal people do

7.) During my typing class in JR High I did not pay attention because I sat next to a hottie in my class - so now I type messed up but still fast

6.) I wanted to join the Navy for the longest time to see the world and to make people proud

5.) I wanted to become an archeologist and work for a big museum

4.) Money doesnt matter to me but I want to give my son everything I can

3.) I have a big scar on my belly from when I almost died at 5 months old

2.) I am a HUGE fan of Jesus even though I am at a very bad place right now - He is still my saving light and I want to raise my son to meet Him and make Him proud

1.) Here is the big kicker - I have really smelly feet -GROSS I KNOW

Back to work

I came back to work on June 10th. I decided to only take 6 weeks off because I am going on vacation to Disney on July 11th thru the 19th. I needed the money and I thought it was only fair to work at least a month before leaving again. But it seems everyday since I got back is getting worse. I want my boy. I want to spend every minute I can with him. I miss him so much throughout the day. I am sure this is normal but Its still a lot harder than I thought it would be. I wish I could be a stay at home mom now. I never wanted to before but I wish I could at least work from home. :(

On another note but same song - Marcus is getting big and I will be sure to include photos soon!!

Update on my little guy

It is so hard to believe that he will be 5 weeks old tomorrow. It feels like time has jumped ahead without my realizing what's going on. He is so big. I took him to the doctor friday for a follow up and he is doing great. His nose is still kind of stuffy but I bought Little Noses saline for him and its working pretty well. I never thought I would be able to get into someone else's nose and not even flinch. But I guess what they say about doing it all for own child is true. I am just so glad he is getting better. Also at the doctors office I learned my little guy is 12 LBS. Huge in my book. Anyways... more pictures will follow.

Corey and Megs - I am SO excited to see you both. I cannot wait. Megs call me if you or your mom need help with the shower. I have it on good authority that Marcus cannot wait to meet his Aunt Megs and Aunt Corey. Love you girls

A simple message

I have often used this blog as a sort of journal. Sometimes I write things very personal that I struggle with and sometimes, Its just little insights I have had in my journey. I have been able to express myself in an accurate manner and tried not to be to over powering or leave my readers feeling intrusive. I enjoy the stories and pictures of my friends blogs and I have been able to talk to friends I have not seen in a while or those long distance.

So the point to all this is that I have some things to say that have become very important and personal. This year, I was a new mommy on Mother's Day. At that point Marcus was about 2 weeks old and I was struggling with breast feeding and feeling a little discouraged. A week later I got mastitas and felt a little bit more discouraged but I was told to feed through it. So I did. Now things are much better and breast feeding is easier. I was a little sad because I felt all the stress was taking away from my new mom experience. But on Mother's Day - same day that Mark graduated from the University of Toledo we went out to dinner after the ceremony. I walked out to the car to feed Marcus and was walking back in and a woman and her husband walking out made a comment. I was holding Marcus close to my chest covered from the little droplets of rain and she said "Now that is the epitome of Mother's Day."

For some strange reason, it made me feel so proud. Such a simple message but I cannot begin to express how I feel about being a mom. I pride myself on my writing abilities. For instance, I can write a heck of a paper and can do so pretty easy. But ask my to tell you what motherhood means to me and I am at a loss. There is nothing I can say to truly express how great a gift Heavenly Father has given me. I want so much for my son. I want to give him all I have and more. Everyday I have moments where I just stare at Marcus and I cannot believe he is mine. He seems so perfect and amazing and I feel like such a gift, I do not deserve.

Breaking my heart

I have always hated to see the little babies sick with runny noses and sad cries. Well it just so happens that Marcus has caught something that has been going around in the area. He doesnt have a runny nose or a fever but he has a super stuffy nose and wakes when he lays on his back from what I can guess is from the draining of his sinus. This has been a bit of a struggle because he will only sleep laying on my chest. While it doesnt bother me and is super comforting to have him close, I wonder what will happen tonight when it is bedtime. I called the pediatrician just to make sure she is aware and scheduled an appointment for Tuesday. She did give me some helpful suggestions. Such as;

For his stuffy nose - use saline to help break it up and then use the squeeze and suck round thingy (not sure the technical name) and also run the vaporizer. Good call registering for that mom - I knew it would come in handy.

For his sleeping situation, she suggested to prop his head up with adding a small thin pillow underneath his pack and play pad. I did that and he has been sleeping now for 20 minutes - PRAY it works. If not I am going to let him sleep in his car seat. Does that make me a bad mom?

Please Pray that my little guy gets better. Its breaking my heart when he cries and there is nothing I can do. Talk about feeling helpless - this is by far the worst.

Pictures

Update

So I figured it is about time to give an update on my new little family and some random babbling too.

Marcus had a doctors appointment one week ago today. He left the hospital weighing 8 lbs and 6 oz but at the appointment with his Ped. he weighed 9 lbs 12 oz. I guess you can say he is eating good. Lol. I had my appointment too. I am healing well after my c-section and walking a lot./ I have lost 31 lbs of my pregnancy weight so far and i would like to lose another 15-20.

Mother's Day was also Mark's college graduation day. What a copout for him. He stole my day being a college graduate but oh well... congrats to him too. I am so proud of him. I love him so much.

Breast feeding is going alright. Its definately harder than I anticipated and has been the cause of some stress. I had mastitis in my right breast and it hurt pretty bad. I had gotten a fever of 102.4 out of nowhere and I was SUPER tender and in pain. But I am slowly working through it.

Overall motherhood is treating me well... i find myself looking at my guy and still wondering what I did to deserve such a blessing. I would like to thank everyone who commented on how adorable my little guy is.

Jared - he does look like Mark but there is still a little me in there. He has my hair color lol
Megs and Corey - I am itching with anticipation for you both to meet your nephew. You will melt.

More pictures to follow tomorrow I promise.

Baby Marcus Alan Nagel

Here are some pictures of Marcus born April 28, 2009 @ 2:28pm

8 LBS 14 OUNCES

20" LONG

Enjoy the pictures...

Anxiety

I am not someone for surprises or jokes I don't get. I like being in the "know" with everything around me. So this whole pregnancy thing with the stages of wait and see has driven me insane. First it was, potty on the stick another 3 times to make sure. Next, wait to go to the doctor to take another test, wait and see. Time frame for those two: minutes but still....slow minutes. On to the 20 weeks part, pink or blue - I HAD to know. Then its the kicking and moving all around to ease a mommy-to-be's mind that her little guy or girl is doing good. Now, its the day to day waiting game! Will I have him today or will he wait for the due date. In my case, I get to wait until Monday night and into Tuesday morning to see what he will do. Yep, the induction date set for us going in on Monday night and then pitocin on Tuesday morning. Now on top of that I am anticipating whether or not He will fit thru and if thats why my doctor is not so subtly hinting C-section.

I just left the doctors office and I am NOT dilated AT ALL. And he is high. She also measured my belly, standard practice and I am still at 35. But I have an 8lbs baby. Lets be optimistic that I will lose the baby weight pretty quickly then.

All this is running thru my mind and I feel like I am going to explode at any moment. I am walking a VERY tight wire hoping not to fall apart before the end. Thank my lucky stars the count down is now to 5 days!!!

So I am not sure if it can be called relief

I had an ultrasound today to determine why my belly was measuring small. So I went in today, after 2 nightmares last night and no sleep. My appointment was at 9:20 am and my brave sister volunteered to go with me! So we go into the room and I lay on the table and she starts rubbing all over and I see Marcus' adorable little face and he is amazing. She keeps going and I ask her to be honest and tell me what is going on. Well - she asks why and I tell her that I am measuring small and she said "SMALL!!" She proceeds to check Marcus out and says right now his weight in at 8 lbs 8 oz. give or take 1/2 a lbs. Oh my!! Anyways, he is great and there is nothing to worry about but she said I am literally ALL BABY. Yay for the hopeful sudden drop of the baby weight. Anyways I am including a picture of my little guy. If you cannot tell without being told, like me, what you are seeing - its his face! The two dark spots are his eyes and the really light is his nose and mouth. I think he is adorable! And I love him LOTS. Oh and I am getting induced on April 27th - for fear of his weight at full-term - What a switch of the gears huh!

Making you think on a Monday Morning

In an effort to keep me positive in a world of negativity, I signed up for a daily life-quote to be sent to my email at work. Every once in a while I find one I REALLY like and today was one such day....Please read below...

Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are; your reputation is merely what others think you are.

Also - I have 2 weeks and 6 days left until my expected due date. However, last Thursday I was told I was measuring small my last few appointments so as a precaution I was set up with an ultrasound for next Wednesday. I am not overly worried because my doctor loves to play it super safe - and Marcus' heart rate has been fine and he still moves a lot - but if you would send good thoughts and keep my little guy in your prayers - I would appreciate it!!!

A mess to clean up

I had my last baby shower this past weekend and I have to say it was PERFECT. It was my side of the family and my closest friends. I was surrounded by so many people that I love that it was special for that reason alone. But Marcus did get spoiled. Mark and I went into registering with the mind frame that we did not want to be greedy and register for things of vanity but when he got the gun - he went crazy - so I deleted some stuff off - shhh- Anyways we had a few basics that we still needed and got everything and SOO much more!

Here is one thing we got. I asked Corey to paint me a picture for Marcus' room and this is what I got. I have to say that it is beyond what I expected and I ADORE it! Mark loves it too. It is hanging right above his bassinet!

There will be more pictures to follow when I get a chance to put them on a disc and save them on my computer!!

Just a thought

I have wondered what I will be like as a mom and my time to find out is shrinking as we speak, I was provoked more curiously by a picture I have of my Nephew Kallen and I. A little background - I moved home for this little guy! Steph told me 2 weeks before I left for Utah that she was pregnant. Talk about something that breaks your heart - but I am glad I missed most of her pregnancy because I heard she was a bear! Lol. I did unfortunately miss Kal's baby shower but I sent a gift box to her shower that made her cry. Anyways - Kallen and I have such an awesome relationship - I love the guy so much and would protect him with my life and often wonder if my sister get annoyed at how much I butt in to save him when he is getting yelled at. Not like in a negative way but I will suggest off the wall activities that I think will make him feel better. We also "fight" he loves Ben 10 and tansformers and stuff like that and he knows Aray will play as long as I can breath - lol. But I thought that I want to be that fun mommy who is a little immature but loves to play with her kid. I want to let Marcus experience the most amazing childhood filled with love, traditions, and good times. That is what I want for Kallen too! Even as his Aunt - If I left this world right now - I want Kallen to remember how crazy I was and how much fun I was. I want my sister to be able to say that I loved him so much and share fun memories. I think that is the kind of mom I want to be. But I know he wont be a perfect angel and there will be a need for discipline. He will be part Miller and Nagel - Watch out Delta!

I guess we will see soon enough! Until then Enjoy my bubby being crazy!

Ready, Set, Go

Over the last few days, I have started to kick my preparation for Marcus into overdrive. I have started to get all my paperwork around for my disability thru work and Aflac, neatly put it in a folder and included it in the already packed diaper bag. I have 3 U of M outfits and an adorable "Mommy Loves Me" 4 piece set I found at Babys R Us and Kohls. I think the little socks are my favorite. But anyways I have all that stuff packed but I still need to pack for myself. I have also washed all of his 0-3 month outfits and folded them back into the 0-3month drawer of his little dresser. 3-6 is in another drawer and 6-9 in the bottom drawer.

Its kind of fun and scary at the same time. I am anxious about getting to meet my little guy but I am scared about all the changes that will literally happen the minute he is born. Mark cannot wait... its so cute - he thinks he is more anxious than I am but we will see. I have a bet that he is going to cry when he sees Marcus for the first time! I know I will be crying myself - whether it is from the pain (I am trying to stand strong and go natural) or every emotion granted to man kind when I get to hold him.

As of today - if I go full term to my due date - I have 40 days until arrival!!!

A picture to cherish

I am really excited to have pictures my sister took of me prego! Not for vain reasons but I loved finding picture of my mom pregnant and she would say - "You were in there!" I am a little bit of a sentimental person if you don't already know it but I want to be able to show my little guy the same thing someday!

Enjoy!

I feel foolish

A few weeks ago my mom complained because my sister was reading " a stupid book" that she wouldn't put down for a second. My sister complained about being tired because she couldn't put her book down. Well I rolled my eyes and thought whatever. Its so trivial to be that hooked on a book. Well open mouth and insert foot. I am referring to none other than the Twilight series. I know I already posted a blog about it once but I am so sorry to say I am following in my sisters footsteps. This weekend Mark was gone from Thursday to late Saturday night at State Wrestling. I was glad because I got a stress free weekend and was about to read the rest of the second half of Twilight and I finished New Moon all on saturday. So saturday night I trucked my happy little butt to wal mart and picked up Eclipse. Mark would not let me read it, he is jealous it is taking up all my time. But I am pretty sure I can say I have never had a book grab me and hold my attention so intensely as this. Now I understand why so many people are in love this Edward and Bella's story. I feel foolish now for judgement. Am I crazy now too?!?! Does anyone NOT love their story?

Twice in one week

I am not usually a flower girl and I had made it known to Mark. I like them but I feel bad for people spending money on them because they just die. I do appreciate when I get them though. It makes it special. So I got a flower delivery twice in 1 week. The first were from a family that was honored Monday night at the National Football FOundation banquet. Since I have done like everything to get it set up for the past two years, I go to the banquet at the end to see all my hard work come together. This is mind you, on top of my regular full time job and helping Mark with his school work. Well Tuesday afternoon the family patriarch brought me in these flowers.





The second are from Mark. We have been doing so well lately and getting excited for our little guy. I received them at work today. He has totally taken me for a surprise. And I should mention they are my first set of flowers from him in 3.5 years of dating!!

Ergh - Complaint

Okay so I know that this may be a little annoying but I HAVE to vent. I am building all this negative pressure inside of myself and I am stressed out to a MAX. I am hoping that since one of my majoy stresses was over last night that it will get better but there is more.

To give a little short background - I have two bosses one female and the other a male who owns Team Sports. (I should also first add a clause that I am being 100% truthful and no exaggerations need to be added) Well my female boss for the last 6-8 months has given me everything that her boss has given to her. No one even knows her job anymore - she does nothing but plays on the internet and fixes the computers when/if something goes wrong. And on top of it - because she was not getting stuff done for the Owner who is her only boss - I got all of the purchasing, a job she has had for quite a while.

A little dent in her road of wanting to do nothing, she is all of the sudden worried about my maternity leave. For one reason of course, she will have to do work again. And she does not like that. She has an 11 year old son and if there is a 2 hour delay -she takes that delay. This year there have been 13 delays alone not including the closings. But She was pressuring me into taking only about a 4 week maternity leave. I felt cornered and like I had to agree even though in Ohio there is a law that includes companies of 4 or more employees to give an employee up to 12 weeks off. If they don't comply it is considered sexual discrimination.

The point to my rant is that she has been touchy lately since she was informed I will take at LEAST 6 weeks. So today - I tried to explain to her that the reason she was having problems booking a future order on Nike is because the web went down. She then accused me of arguing with her when I told her there should be a little box that pops up when she logs in. She threw a fit/ Mind you she is 47. I am tired of dealing with extra stress and I am quickly losing my love for my job and find no reason to stay here unhappy.

I just had to go and start it....

So lately I have been feeling SUPER lazy and like I just want to dive into a good book. So I was at Wal Mart this weekend and I decided to go get me a book. Nothing special - anything really to help pass my time and slow me down a bit. So I get into their little section and Twighlight jumps out at me. I pick it up, its only $7.00 and some odd cents. Sunday afternoon, I am determined to relax because I know how crazy today is going to be and I start reading it. I could not put it down. I become so engrossed in the book, It was honestly not like anything I had done for years. I was so interested and I felt like I was getting excited for parts and chilled at others. So I stayed up last night until 12:45 am reading this book. I got half done! I am on page 263. Mark just rolled his eyes but I am a HUGE fan now. So I hope to finish the first book (I have not even seen the movie yet) and move on to the next ones. My sister has 2 and 3. I can honestly say, I am so looking forward to getting back to that book tonight!

Happy Friday

Today I woke up at 4:30 -ish because I must have done something funky with my leg and got a HORRIBLE charlie horse in my right calf. It hurt so bad I was almost in tears. But I was determined not to be in a bad mood because we are having a dual baby shower today at work.

I am so excited for it. My mom and sister are coming with the kids. I am sure there will be pictures to follow. But there are going to be about 20 people there between the three companies that make up the Team Sports family. I have had a few of the ladies tell me they are so excited about shopping for Marcus and it makes me feel good. I love this little guy and want everyone that I know and love to be a part of his life and give him all the love he deserves. I am also really looking forward to My Dad and Kallen getting to know him. My Dad is just happy that I am finally having a baby - he says he honestly never thought I would, and for Kallen to get to be the hero big cousin that Marcus adores.

On another note - I am going after work to help out at our District Wrestling Tournament at Owens C.C. I am kind of pumped for that because I have not been able to just go and watch wrestling since like 2 years ago.

Getting so close

Here I am at 30 weeks and 3 days. I have to say, for all the horror stories I have heard about the third trimester, I am actually very satisfied. My heart burn has stopped unless I wait to long to eat, then it comes on strong. I am sleeping pretty good, about the same for my second trimester. I am still tired all the time, but thats not so bad. I wake up about the same in the middle of the night. He still doesnt wake me up at night before 4 usually. I am happy. I have 9 weeks and 4 days left. My doctor told me that IF my cervix was soft and cooperating, they could induce me at 39 weeks. I think it is a little selfish wish but I hope that I can or just go naturally on my own at that point. I am just so eager to meet my little guy!! I never truly understood until now how great a miracle life is. I have to say I have learned so much from this experience and pray that those around me get to have this same opportunity someday! Soon!

Such a kid

I have to say that I am so giddy lately with just about everything, except the 4 days when I was sick. I am excited for the count down, Mark and I are constantly talking about how much fun (and work) Marcus will bring. I cannot wait. Also this weekend, we went and bought a 32" flat screen for our bedroom and a WII!! I beat him in our first bowling game but then the six after I got my butt beat BAD. He has his "mojo" down with it! WHATEVER, who can really get 4 strikes in a row. But also, I love how much fun we had side by side playing. It just reassures me how much we have grown as a couple and how much fun we still have together. I LOVE IT ALL!!

Uggghhh Monday Mornings...

I just have to say that I think Monday's are the worst days EVER. We should get another transition day between our weekends and workweeks. I needed about another 3 hours of sleep last night and this morning.

I may seem like a pessimist because of how emotional and passionate I am about a lot of things lately, but does any hate Mondays as much as I do.

I would not be surprised if I did not sleep on my lunch time today!!

A Week Makes a BIG Difference

I was at work talking to my boss yesterday and we were discussing how long I have left until my due date. I said I am 28 weeks and 4 days but she said that didn't sounds right. So I went back to April 27 and counted back. The 27th to the 20th - One weeks and so on until I got to this coming Monday- ONLY 10 WEEKS. I will be 30 weeks on the 16th instead of only 29 weeks. Now, this may seem really trivial but I got SOOOO excited. Also yesterday, I got a copy of a picture that contains the small image of my niece or nephew Decker. I am so excited for Corey to watch her grow and become more excited as the weeks begin to pass by. She does need to start posting belly pictures soon - I wanna see that belly! :)

Also on another note regarding the previous "angry" post, I want to thank everyone who gave me advice. I appreciate the blunt answers and guidance. I know deep down inside how ugly I have become because of my anger towards this situation. And the problems between Mark and I are self created and fueled. I cannot make him hate his mother and I am sure he sees the better side of her. Before I got pregnant, I loved his mom like my own family and now that I am carrying her grandson, I should probably try to get that back. I am going to try to forgive and eventually forget what happened. But it is my hope that she, herself will be a bit better and treat Marcus like a prince, which is of course how I feel about him.

I think the main problem with all this is that I KNOW a thousand times over how unfortunate it is that he was conceived outside of a marriage. I wish that I did not create this situation for him to be born into but I am convinced that I can raise him to be a happy, healthy, and honorable person. I cannot express to anyone how I feel about this little guy already. I dream of the first time I will get to hold him and I am filled with more emotions that I can contain. I want to be the best mom I can be and fill his life with happiness and love. I must first remove bad things from my life to provide this. And I was wrong to think I should remove Mark's mom instead of looking inward and removing my anger and resentment. I am sincerely going to do everything I can in all humility to make this possible.

In Serious Need

This post is something that is very personal and hard for me to deal with as Marcus' birth date draws closer. I am only bringing this to light because I am in serious need of help working out these issues before involving my innocent child.

As most of you know, I am pregnant and not married but have been dating Mark for over 3 years now. I got pregnant off of birth control and it was a total shock and surprise. My nurse at the Doctor's office stated that the form of birth control I was using is the one she has seen the most pregnancies happen with. Would have been nice to know, but it is irrelevant now. My point is, when I took the first test because I was a day late and it came back with two lines, to say I freaked out is an understatment. The first person to hear the news because I was at her house was Mark's mom. Her very first words were "Well he cannot marry you right now" and I know this because we had no money and he was not done with school. It has always been the plan just not quite yet. I then told her I did not understand how I could be pregnant because I was on birth control and she said verbatim " Well maybe you and your doctor should think of an alternative method..." my response "What like an Abortion?!" and she then boldly said "Well would you rather have a special needs child..." I was speechless and hurt. I told her 100% out of the question. I was then asked to not tell Mark that I was pregnant because he had plans for the weekend and it would ruin it.

So my dilema is that at that moment those words left her mouth - I have felt a hatred towards her. I know I should be better than this but I cannot seem to move past it. Possibly because of her maliciousness or the fact she is not sorry for what she said. I know that she was thinking of a way out of this for her son and that she had an out with the possibility that some complications could follow since I was on birth control. Every time she does something nice or kind, I try to let go and then it always comes back into my mind. I am now faced with the anxiety of letting her have anything to do with him, Mark wants her to watch him sometimes but it doesn't sit well with me at all.

I am heartbroken by the idea that she didn't want him and now acts like the proud Grandmother using his birth as bragging rights that in my opinion she doesn't deserve. I have cried so many times over this because I cannot believe that someone could be so cold and it gives me a knot everytime. I broke down this morning because I want her to have nothing to do with him, she lost that opportunity in my opinion. I just cannot make sense of all this and I know my stress is only hurting my son. And I want to be fair to him but I also believe that he deserves to be around those who love him and supported him despite the details of his birth. I am beating myself up because I know better than to harbor hate... but I do not know how to let this go. Please help

Count Down is to 80 days

Here is a picture I took the other day after I had a wal mart check out lady and a guy I work with ask me if I was having twins. Wow Am I that big?!?






Yesterday was another Doctor's appointment. I am now at the point where I have to go every two weeks instead of once a month. Scary and exciting because that means Marcus big debut will be coming sooner than later. I do tell you that I am glad all I have left is about 12 weeks because I would not want to reverse it and go back to being just 12 weeks. Have fun Corey :)

How cute are my niece and nephew

Look how big Kallen looks. I cannot believe my little bub is so big.




This is such a sweet picture of Makenna. She is so cute it is almost beyond words.


I love these pictures and plan to have the same person take Marcus' newborn pictures

Getting close

Today I am 27 weeks and I cannot believe that I only have 13 to go. It seems like a long time when you say three months... But when you have gone 27 weeks already its like "Okay I can do this. "
So far I only have two complaints about being pregnant but I love the rest.

Complaint #1 - I am SO tired. I have never gained any of my energy back. Not that big of a deal but everyday I just want to go home and sleep after work but I cannot. I am going to try to walk at least a 1 mile to 2 miles a day and see if it makes a difference.

Complaint #2 - Heartburn - I hate tums but they are my new best friend!

As Marcus is becoming more active - which is hard to believe because he has already been kicking a ton - I love to show Mark the way he moves my entire belly. Even right now - he is going crazy. I want to know where he is laying right now. I think he has started to shift down a little bit because there is movement up at the top of my belly and little hiccups down below my belly.

I love this little guy!

Here is Marcus' bassinet. It took Mark and I two hours since I screwed up and since he stripped one of the screws. The I also think we tightened it too much because it didn't sway right! Oh well! He isn't going anywhere in it!

A Fun Little Tag

1. Choose a folder where you store you pictures.


2. Select the 4th picture in that folder.


3. Explain that picture.


4. Tag 4 People.


5. No Cheating (cropping, editing, etc.



MY PICTURE

This is my nephew one day outside pointing at a plane in the air. He is so amazing and I love the little guy with all my heart


I TAG:
COREY
MEGAN
MONICA
KASSIE

So this is what pregnancy looks like on me

Here is my 25 week belly - I will be 26 weeks on Monday - I talked to Corey today and she said that she bets my belly is big - Here you go babe - I hope it makes you feel better...Love ya ENJOY

True Realizations

Today was filled with crucial and necessary emotions. None of which I thought I would have to face anytime soon. But as Heavenly Father's wisdom is infinate, I needed a reminder of how precious life can be. My day started with not feeling well, possibly from bad chinese food from last night, so I missed work. Mark took my car to wrestling practice and I decided to lay back down. It was about 8:30 am when I received a call from Mark saying there was an accident on Airport Highway but that it wasn't him. Just as those word came out, he started to say " And I just about got into one... Oh bleep....." dead silence. My heart dropped. I finally got a hold of him and he said he got into an accident and that there was a little damage to my car. I was okay but there was little information given at the time. Come to find out he had avoided a dingbat who stopped because I trooper was driving with his lights on coming in the OPPOSITE direction. I may be wrong but unless its an ambulance or a cop car on the side of a lane, you do not have to get over or slow down. He was just driving with his light on, gimme a break. So anyways Mark tried to stop and get over but he hit a patch of ice and did a 360 and hit the stopped car and went into the other lane of oncoming traffic. If anyone knows Airport Highway, its busy and had lots of bad accidents.

So my true realization came in the form of, what if. I have about fifty that came to mind but the hardest to swallow comes in the form of What if I lost the man I love and a son losing a father without ever meeting him. I thought what if I had to raise our son and he never knew his father. Or what if I never got to touch him again. No kiss goodnight or cuddling until I went to bed. Soon after I really fell in love with him, I started to worry about losing him some day. I will lose my best friend and the person who makes me whole.

I finally broke down and starting crying pretty bad just thinking about the thought that I would never get to see him. So tonight I keep reminding myself to not even take one second for granted and to love him more so that If the What If ever comes true, I know he will never wonder if and how much I love him.

Counting down the weeks

Here is a picture of my 24 weeks and 3 day belly. It is amazing how far it has stretched without bursting so far and I still have a little less than 16 weeks to go. My wish is to get a good nights rest, but it seems that is gone already. I have to go to the ladies room about 3 times a night and it hurts to sleep ANY WAY. I am a huge fan of sleeping on my belly but obviously I cannot.

I was just thinking the other day - how exhausted I am and how I have never experienced such a long length of time where I feel drained. But then I also have never been so happy either. Its so awesome to feel Marcus inside kicking or hitting or whatever else he maybe up to. As I have stated a few times before - I LOVE rubbing my belly! It is like a calming and relaxing exercise for me and it soothes my itching belly. But nothing is going to beat when I get to hold my son in my arms. Mark and I were talking the other day and He said something about holding him and bringing him over to me, and even that small little thought of seeing father and son, my love and my baby, it made me tear up and gives me little boosts of excitement.

1. Post rules on your blog
2. Answer the 6 "8" items
3. Let each person know they have been tagged

8 Fav TV Shows:
1. Ghost Hunters
2. House
3. Ghost Whisperer
4. Forensic Files
5. NCIS
6. Extreme Home Makeover
7. Saving Grace
8. The Closer

8 Things I did Yesterday:
1. Woke Up 5 Times to Go #1
2. Showered
3. Brushed Teeth
4. Brushed and styled my hair
5. Went to Work
6. Ate about 5 meals
7. Drove Home
8. Went to Walmart and Ate Taco Bell at 10pm

8 Things I look forwad to:
1. My Baby Showers
2. My Next Doctors Appointment
3. My Meeting at Work Today -I am getting a bonus
4. Having Marcus
5. Taking My First Picture of Mark and Marcus Taking A Nap on The Couch
6. Summer and Walt Disney World
7. Maternity Leave
8. Cuddling upto Mark everynight

8 Fav Restaurants:
1. Red Lobster
2. Cafe Rio - Utah
3. Blue Pacific
4. Ricks in Napoleon
5. Winchesters in Delta - They have good French Onion Soup
6. Buffalo Wild Wings
7. Azul Tequila - Although I cannot eat there for the next few months - Baby doesn't like Mexican Food
8. All time favorite is - My mom's cooking. She is an excellent cook.

8 Things on my WISHLIST!
1. Healthy and Happy Baby
2. Become Debt Free
3. To be a good Mommy
4. See my niece and nephews happy
5. My parents to have financial security
6. To go back to get a degree in Nursing and make decent money
7. Good Health for my family
8. More Money in the Bank

8 People to Tag:
1. Corey
2. Megan
3. Sonya
4. Rachel K.

DUH

I forgot to include the picture.....

23 weeks

I cannot believe how big my belly has stretched. I have yet to get any stretch marks but I am sure they are coming. I have people at work laughing because of how big my belly has become. Ugh....16 1/2 weeks to go!

New Year

This new year has been the only one that I can remember where I have not set any resolutions. I think that there is a big list of things I could and most certainly should be working on but I am blaming the baby. I am just sooooo tired all the time. And now the little guy kicks ALL the time but still lets me sleep for the most part. I get up and go #1 like 3 times a night and it isn't like a little "have to potty" sensation it is full bladder. He is also getting..."heavy" I guess I could put it. I have started to feel the weight. Which by the way I weighed myself- WOW!!!! I have gained more than I thought. But I am one week shy of 6 months so I guess its not too bad - But I thought I would only gain this much my whole pregnancy - I'm sure its because he will be a big baby. (Anything to make me feel better I guess) But Marcus is totally worth it! So I will stop complaining and be thankful!

On another note. Mark started his student teaching this morning. I got up with him at 5:30 am because I am dedicated - I could have slept another 2 hours before I had to get up- and ironed his shirt. I tied his tie and he was off. And if i can say without hesitation - He makes a HOT teacher. Lol but I am biased. As a girlfriend, I am so proud of him and how well he has done. I think that there is a small percentage of people who actually find what they were meant to do in a career and Mark is one. He is a moderate to intensive Special Education major and he does so great. Teachers and the kids love him. I am excited for him to graduate and get his own classroom so I can put a picture of our little family up on his desk.