Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Just a thought

I have wondered what I will be like as a mom and my time to find out is shrinking as we speak, I was provoked more curiously by a picture I have of my Nephew Kallen and I. A little background - I moved home for this little guy! Steph told me 2 weeks before I left for Utah that she was pregnant. Talk about something that breaks your heart - but I am glad I missed most of her pregnancy because I heard she was a bear! Lol. I did unfortunately miss Kal's baby shower but I sent a gift box to her shower that made her cry. Anyways - Kallen and I have such an awesome relationship - I love the guy so much and would protect him with my life and often wonder if my sister get annoyed at how much I butt in to save him when he is getting yelled at. Not like in a negative way but I will suggest off the wall activities that I think will make him feel better. We also "fight" he loves Ben 10 and tansformers and stuff like that and he knows Aray will play as long as I can breath - lol. But I thought that I want to be that fun mommy who is a little immature but loves to play with her kid. I want to let Marcus experience the most amazing childhood filled with love, traditions, and good times. That is what I want for Kallen too! Even as his Aunt - If I left this world right now - I want Kallen to remember how crazy I was and how much fun I was. I want my sister to be able to say that I loved him so much and share fun memories. I think that is the kind of mom I want to be. But I know he wont be a perfect angel and there will be a need for discipline. He will be part Miller and Nagel - Watch out Delta!


I guess we will see soon enough! Until then Enjoy my bubby being crazy!


Thursday, March 26, 2009

Ready, Set, Go

Over the last few days, I have started to kick my preparation for Marcus into overdrive. I have started to get all my paperwork around for my disability thru work and Aflac, neatly put it in a folder and included it in the already packed diaper bag. I have 3 U of M outfits and an adorable "Mommy Loves Me" 4 piece set I found at Babys R Us and Kohls. I think the little socks are my favorite. But anyways I have all that stuff packed but I still need to pack for myself. I have also washed all of his 0-3 month outfits and folded them back into the 0-3month drawer of his little dresser. 3-6 is in another drawer and 6-9 in the bottom drawer.

Its kind of fun and scary at the same time. I am anxious about getting to meet my little guy but I am scared about all the changes that will literally happen the minute he is born. Mark cannot wait... its so cute - he thinks he is more anxious than I am but we will see. I have a bet that he is going to cry when he sees Marcus for the first time! I know I will be crying myself - whether it is from the pain (I am trying to stand strong and go natural) or every emotion granted to man kind when I get to hold him.

As of today - if I go full term to my due date - I have 40 days until arrival!!!

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

A picture to cherish

I am really excited to have pictures my sister took of me prego! Not for vain reasons but I loved finding picture of my mom pregnant and she would say - "You were in there!" I am a little bit of a sentimental person if you don't already know it but I want to be able to show my little guy the same thing someday!

Enjoy!


Monday, March 9, 2009

I feel foolish

A few weeks ago my mom complained because my sister was reading " a stupid book" that she wouldn't put down for a second. My sister complained about being tired because she couldn't put her book down. Well I rolled my eyes and thought whatever. Its so trivial to be that hooked on a book. Well open mouth and insert foot. I am referring to none other than the Twilight series. I know I already posted a blog about it once but I am so sorry to say I am following in my sisters footsteps. This weekend Mark was gone from Thursday to late Saturday night at State Wrestling. I was glad because I got a stress free weekend and was about to read the rest of the second half of Twilight and I finished New Moon all on saturday. So saturday night I trucked my happy little butt to wal mart and picked up Eclipse. Mark would not let me read it, he is jealous it is taking up all my time. But I am pretty sure I can say I have never had a book grab me and hold my attention so intensely as this. Now I understand why so many people are in love this Edward and Bella's story. I feel foolish now for judgement. Am I crazy now too?!?! Does anyone NOT love their story?

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Twice in one week

I am not usually a flower girl and I had made it known to Mark. I like them but I feel bad for people spending money on them because they just die. I do appreciate when I get them though. It makes it special. So I got a flower delivery twice in 1 week. The first were from a family that was honored Monday night at the National Football FOundation banquet. Since I have done like everything to get it set up for the past two years, I go to the banquet at the end to see all my hard work come together. This is mind you, on top of my regular full time job and helping Mark with his school work. Well Tuesday afternoon the family patriarch brought me in these flowers.





The second are from Mark. We have been doing so well lately and getting excited for our little guy. I received them at work today. He has totally taken me for a surprise. And I should mention they are my first set of flowers from him in 3.5 years of dating!!

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Ergh - Complaint

Okay so I know that this may be a little annoying but I HAVE to vent. I am building all this negative pressure inside of myself and I am stressed out to a MAX. I am hoping that since one of my majoy stresses was over last night that it will get better but there is more.

To give a little short background - I have two bosses one female and the other a male who owns Team Sports. (I should also first add a clause that I am being 100% truthful and no exaggerations need to be added) Well my female boss for the last 6-8 months has given me everything that her boss has given to her. No one even knows her job anymore - she does nothing but plays on the internet and fixes the computers when/if something goes wrong. And on top of it - because she was not getting stuff done for the Owner who is her only boss - I got all of the purchasing, a job she has had for quite a while.

A little dent in her road of wanting to do nothing, she is all of the sudden worried about my maternity leave. For one reason of course, she will have to do work again. And she does not like that. She has an 11 year old son and if there is a 2 hour delay -she takes that delay. This year there have been 13 delays alone not including the closings. But She was pressuring me into taking only about a 4 week maternity leave. I felt cornered and like I had to agree even though in Ohio there is a law that includes companies of 4 or more employees to give an employee up to 12 weeks off. If they don't comply it is considered sexual discrimination.

The point to my rant is that she has been touchy lately since she was informed I will take at LEAST 6 weeks. So today - I tried to explain to her that the reason she was having problems booking a future order on Nike is because the web went down. She then accused me of arguing with her when I told her there should be a little box that pops up when she logs in. She threw a fit/ Mind you she is 47. I am tired of dealing with extra stress and I am quickly losing my love for my job and find no reason to stay here unhappy.

Monday, March 2, 2009

I just had to go and start it....

So lately I have been feeling SUPER lazy and like I just want to dive into a good book. So I was at Wal Mart this weekend and I decided to go get me a book. Nothing special - anything really to help pass my time and slow me down a bit. So I get into their little section and Twighlight jumps out at me. I pick it up, its only $7.00 and some odd cents. Sunday afternoon, I am determined to relax because I know how crazy today is going to be and I start reading it. I could not put it down. I become so engrossed in the book, It was honestly not like anything I had done for years. I was so interested and I felt like I was getting excited for parts and chilled at others. So I stayed up last night until 12:45 am reading this book. I got half done! I am on page 263. Mark just rolled his eyes but I am a HUGE fan now. So I hope to finish the first book (I have not even seen the movie yet) and move on to the next ones. My sister has 2 and 3. I can honestly say, I am so looking forward to getting back to that book tonight!