Tuesday, May 26, 2009

A simple message

I have often used this blog as a sort of journal. Sometimes I write things very personal that I struggle with and sometimes, Its just little insights I have had in my journey. I have been able to express myself in an accurate manner and tried not to be to over powering or leave my readers feeling intrusive. I enjoy the stories and pictures of my friends blogs and I have been able to talk to friends I have not seen in a while or those long distance.

So the point to all this is that I have some things to say that have become very important and personal. This year, I was a new mommy on Mother's Day. At that point Marcus was about 2 weeks old and I was struggling with breast feeding and feeling a little discouraged. A week later I got mastitas and felt a little bit more discouraged but I was told to feed through it. So I did. Now things are much better and breast feeding is easier. I was a little sad because I felt all the stress was taking away from my new mom experience. But on Mother's Day - same day that Mark graduated from the University of Toledo we went out to dinner after the ceremony. I walked out to the car to feed Marcus and was walking back in and a woman and her husband walking out made a comment. I was holding Marcus close to my chest covered from the little droplets of rain and she said "Now that is the epitome of Mother's Day."

For some strange reason, it made me feel so proud. Such a simple message but I cannot begin to express how I feel about being a mom. I pride myself on my writing abilities. For instance, I can write a heck of a paper and can do so pretty easy. But ask my to tell you what motherhood means to me and I am at a loss. There is nothing I can say to truly express how great a gift Heavenly Father has given me. I want so much for my son. I want to give him all I have and more. Everyday I have moments where I just stare at Marcus and I cannot believe he is mine. He seems so perfect and amazing and I feel like such a gift, I do not deserve.

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Breaking my heart

I have always hated to see the little babies sick with runny noses and sad cries. Well it just so happens that Marcus has caught something that has been going around in the area. He doesnt have a runny nose or a fever but he has a super stuffy nose and wakes when he lays on his back from what I can guess is from the draining of his sinus. This has been a bit of a struggle because he will only sleep laying on my chest. While it doesnt bother me and is super comforting to have him close, I wonder what will happen tonight when it is bedtime. I called the pediatrician just to make sure she is aware and scheduled an appointment for Tuesday. She did give me some helpful suggestions. Such as;

For his stuffy nose - use saline to help break it up and then use the squeeze and suck round thingy (not sure the technical name) and also run the vaporizer. Good call registering for that mom - I knew it would come in handy.

For his sleeping situation, she suggested to prop his head up with adding a small thin pillow underneath his pack and play pad. I did that and he has been sleeping now for 20 minutes - PRAY it works. If not I am going to let him sleep in his car seat. Does that make me a bad mom?

Please Pray that my little guy gets better. Its breaking my heart when he cries and there is nothing I can do. Talk about feeling helpless - this is by far the worst.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Monday, May 18, 2009

Update

So I figured it is about time to give an update on my new little family and some random babbling too.

Marcus had a doctors appointment one week ago today. He left the hospital weighing 8 lbs and 6 oz but at the appointment with his Ped. he weighed 9 lbs 12 oz. I guess you can say he is eating good. Lol. I had my appointment too. I am healing well after my c-section and walking a lot./ I have lost 31 lbs of my pregnancy weight so far and i would like to lose another 15-20.

Mother's Day was also Mark's college graduation day. What a copout for him. He stole my day being a college graduate but oh well... congrats to him too. I am so proud of him. I love him so much.

Breast feeding is going alright. Its definately harder than I anticipated and has been the cause of some stress. I had mastitis in my right breast and it hurt pretty bad. I had gotten a fever of 102.4 out of nowhere and I was SUPER tender and in pain. But I am slowly working through it.

Overall motherhood is treating me well... i find myself looking at my guy and still wondering what I did to deserve such a blessing. I would like to thank everyone who commented on how adorable my little guy is.

Jared - he does look like Mark but there is still a little me in there. He has my hair color lol
Megs and Corey - I am itching with anticipation for you both to meet your nephew. You will melt.

More pictures to follow tomorrow I promise.

Saturday, May 2, 2009

Baby Marcus Alan Nagel

Here are some pictures of Marcus born April 28, 2009 @ 2:28pm

8 LBS 14 OUNCES

20" LONG



Enjoy the pictures...