Anxiety

I am not someone for surprises or jokes I don't get. I like being in the "know" with everything around me. So this whole pregnancy thing with the stages of wait and see has driven me insane. First it was, potty on the stick another 3 times to make sure. Next, wait to go to the doctor to take another test, wait and see. Time frame for those two: minutes but still....slow minutes. On to the 20 weeks part, pink or blue - I HAD to know. Then its the kicking and moving all around to ease a mommy-to-be's mind that her little guy or girl is doing good. Now, its the day to day waiting game! Will I have him today or will he wait for the due date. In my case, I get to wait until Monday night and into Tuesday morning to see what he will do. Yep, the induction date set for us going in on Monday night and then pitocin on Tuesday morning. Now on top of that I am anticipating whether or not He will fit thru and if thats why my doctor is not so subtly hinting C-section.

I just left the doctors office and I am NOT dilated AT ALL. And he is high. She also measured my belly, standard practice and I am still at 35. But I have an 8lbs baby. Lets be optimistic that I will lose the baby weight pretty quickly then.

All this is running thru my mind and I feel like I am going to explode at any moment. I am walking a VERY tight wire hoping not to fall apart before the end. Thank my lucky stars the count down is now to 5 days!!!