Rachel Mary

2011-11-26T20:05:00.000-08:00

A fun little Memory

2011-09-16T10:17:00.000-07:00

So this is a picture I took with Marcus when he was a little over 3 months old. Now Mason is slowly working his way up to that age! I am so lucky to have the opportunity to be these two angels mommy! Thank you endlessly Dear God :)

Sometimes Just an Image

2011-09-15T12:41:00.000-07:00

So now that I am almost officially (1 day off) 9 months away from becoming a Mrs. I am starting to get all excited again. After a long engagement, I think that there is a lull of pre-wedding fun. But - It's back. So What do you ask - brought it back. Well there is the endless searching for ideas like this;

and this;

And figuring out that I want this Up-do;

(from the best wedding website; http://www.stylemepretty.com/)

It is this morning, when my 2 year old was telling me his brother's name...First and Last and said Mommy N*g*l. I said, "Not yet, but soon!" I cannot express what it will mean to me to share the last name FINALLY...with my family!

So here is to a very quick next 9 months.

A new Journey

2011-09-09T11:48:00.000-07:00

So two children later - My body is not quite what it used to be...soooooo....NEWS FLASH

I joined weight watchers. I have a goal of 20 lbs to get down and I am totally going to do it. I technically lost all of my "pregnancy weight" but if you have kids, you know you wear your weight differently!!
I will be attempting to post updates...wish me luck !

Men Attire

2011-04-27T07:10:00.000-07:00

I was talking with Mark about how I felt a Tuxedo was a little extreme for the type of wedding I am planning in my mind. I was pleasantly surprised at how quickly we both agreed on this point. I told him I wanted casual and I loved the idea of Khaki's with a blue blazer, button up white shirt, and a yellow and navy tie. (GO BLUE)

I WAS SHOCKED - HE LOVES THE IDEA....

I saw this look online at Style Me Pretty and want to share. I think all the men will look so good in this!! Enjoy!

Flip flops so far....

2011-04-21T08:08:00.000-07:00

I have made 2 of 6 pair of the Flip Flops I am giving as gifts asking my Bridesmaids to stand up with me on my speacial day!!

They get a cute little bag with it. And I was going to include a card - but it was too much work so we shall see about that.

After I am done with this DIY project my next venture is going to be the Save the Dates and Invitations.

My vintage-Glam theme is going to show little in these but at the actual wedding - Watch out :)

Mark and I have decided not to get married in a church but rather at a very pretty gazebo at the Fulton County Fairgrounds. I know, some may think this cannot be elegant but I have visions of such in my head.

Something like this possibly or parasols in a buckey for the guests in case its super sunny... work in progress!!

Back to Blogging

2011-04-20T09:45:00.000-07:00

I am excited to announce - I am back to blogging! I have deleted my facebook account - GASP -I KNOW- Someone on the planet living without facebook. But I am not missing it anymore and all the more excited to start sharing my journey to the altar. Again! This time more frequently. I have so many ideas and have started my first DIY project. My " Will you be my Bridesmaid" Cards. Along with a super cute card - a pair of flip flops in yellow - One of my colors.

Count down to wedding - 1 year and 1 day.

In other news... baby update!! Mason Alexander is 83 days away from his debut! So excited. Tomorrow I will be 28 weeks - 7 months. I cannot wait. I have to admit I am also very excited to work out afterwards and put my dress back on! LOVE IT!!

Marcus - will be 2 a week from tomorrow!! I have a two year old???? Wait when did that happen?

My first "DIY Wedding Project"

2010-11-01T13:22:00.000-07:00

So after trying on my dress- Oh about 10 times now - I am finally starting to get the overall image in my head of my wedding day. One, without a long veil. I know - I tried to convince myself. I thought well maybe a finger-tip veil, or a shoulder length veil but still I cannot picture myself walking down the aisle with one. So instead - I have been going back and forth about the Birdcage veils.

I am very curious - If it will be true to my style and wedding vibe. So today on my lunch - I purchased the material to try to create my very own and unique masterpiece. I may not have time to do it anytime soon because I have a few other projects I am working on but I will post pictures when It is completed.

Rest assured though - I found a beautiful lace that I believe will look stunning with my dress. On and my bff Kendra is coming over tonight to see my dress! SOOOOOOO EXCITED! She is going to love it! Little does she know - I am also going to tell her she is giving a speech as well :) hehehe

Bits and Pieces

2010-10-01T10:20:00.000-07:00

NONE of these pictures are of MY dress. It is just a few glimpses of what my dress has in store.
The first one is actually me in a David's bridal dress. And yes my rear looks just like this in my Robin Jillian dress. The next is the lace my dress has but with pretty heavy beading. The last two, the shape of my dress and the neckline - put it all together and you still have no idea how absolutely beautiful my dress is!! Have to wait until April 21, 2012!

Oh my HECK..........

2010-09-24T13:43:00.000-07:00

See the theme I kind of have going on?! I love them all and I love the soft look and the volume at the top and the side bun/ curls.....HMMMMMM

What do you think?

Super exciting

2010-09-20T11:08:00.000-07:00

So my dress seriously rocks the socks right off me!! It's the most beautiful, stunning, exquisite, and perfect for me dress. I got it at Atlas Bridal in Toledo ( http://www.atlasbridalshop.com/) and it is a Robin Jillian dress. Before trying on dresses at Atlas - I would swear to you that my dress was going to be a Maggie Sottero dress and I had my heart set on the $1,500.00+ dress Saige. But I tried on this dress by R.J. and could not forget it! I loved the way it looked in the front, to the side, and even the junk in my trunk. Its so perfect for me. And I am the kind of person who gives credit where credit is due SO I typed a little email of appreciation and got the following response;

"We passed your email on directly to the designer, Robin Jillian herself. She asked us to reply and to say thank you as you made her day. "

So that made my day. She is a phenomenal designer and I would suggest checking into her line if you are looking for a one of a kind beautiful dress. I think about this dress and cry because I feel so amazing in it and since having Marcus, sometimes ( most of the time) I lack the confidence to pull anything off. I give kudos to Robin Jillian and cannot wait to wear my dress.

My super model

2010-09-20T10:52:00.001-07:00

Go to this link and check out my Super Model son... :)
We did a promotional shoot for a local company called Silly Monkey...

http://sillymonkeyboutique.com/

And people actually buy those...

2010-09-16T12:58:00.000-07:00

Where are those women's momma's! Someone should stop them!

I have been looking at miscellaneous wedding items and ran across some aweful looking shoes!! Hang on though until the end though. There are some I really like :)

I don't even know what to say about these?! What is on the toe? Did someone get lazy?
Really ? These were like $300.00 shoes!!

Now ladies and any fellas reading this... Here are my favorites...

So far favorite navy shoes

Now I like this A LOT but its like 1/3 of what my dress cost and I am not sure I want to spend that money on shoes!! But oohh la la...

AYBE - if I get into the swing of the beading with my belt from the previous post - I may be able to whip something like this up in Navy!!

Wedding Ideas - What do you think?

2010-09-15T05:47:00.000-07:00

So now begins the fun part, in my opinion, of the joy of planning a wedding - THE DETAILS.

Hall - Check

Date - Check - April 21, 2012

My Dress - Check ( and wowza- LOVE IT)

Colors: Check - Deep Blue (navy) and Bright Yellow (GO BLUE?!)

Now, I have a ton of ideas running rampid in my head. I see a vintage/classy decor theme with crystals hanging from my centerpieces and possibly a few more details that will wow the guests! So overall I am pretty excited. Here are a few hints at some stuff thats floating around in my head. I do not have the links to the pictures but none of this is my work!! Google searches are my lifeline!

A Sash I may try for my dress. Its gorgeous alreadu but i think it may just add a little more Rachel to it!! It already screams my name but it couldn't hurt!

Here is an idea i LOVE for my centerpieces. Done some research and the crystal strands are pretty reasonable - but of course - would change it up a bit and add "Rachel flair"

Come on now, Look how FANTASTIC these colors look together!!

1 year

2010-04-27T06:25:00.000-07:00

I heard a quote once that someone said; Life is not measured by hours, day, or years, rather it should be measured in the moments that take your breath away. Well, I have had a lot of those moments in the last 364 days. I leave out a day only because tomorrow - Marcus will be a year old. I can usually put to words my thoughts and emotions pretty well but it seems there are no words to describe my journey so far as a Mom. I have not taken 1 second for granted with my son. I love his every move and even his fits (not quite so much if they are at 2 am in the morning) I adore his silly faces and even when he points to me and says "Bad Boy" when I yell at him. This little boy is what my life is all about. I want to give him everything I have and more. I strive to be a better person for him. He is my Hope for everything good. I have made life changing mistakes and will have to work very hard to have them forgiven. I can understand, if even in the smallest degree what kind of gift our Savior is. The love I feel for my son is so strong, it drives everything I do. And for Heavenly Father to give His Son to me as well, is a gift I will never deserve. Life means so much more now than I could have ever expected. I never really knew if I would be a Mom but nowI cannot imagine a life without it. I watch Marcus sleep at night and feel comforted that no matter what happens, I have him. I never knew that being a Mom would turn my heart to mush, fill me with so much love, and help me understand true love.

So my sweet baby Marcus, thank you for being my pride and joy and for restoring my love for a great and endlessly giving Heavenly Father. I love you so much sometimes it hurts. Happy Birthday Baby Boy!

Love,
Mommy

Its been a while

2009-08-23T20:27:00.000-07:00

But I plan to keep it short and sweet.

Update: Marcus will be 17 weeks Tuesday. How time has flown by. Looking at him sleeping tonight makes me realize just how much I have been blessed. He is the sweetest and most lovable baby anyone could ever ask for. I am so in love with being a mother and thank God daily for each smile, giggle, and sound my little one makes. I believe that being a mother is the best thing that has happened to me. I love him with bits of my heart I never knew I had.

I love you baby Marcus - You are mommy's favorite!!!

Can't get enough....

2009-07-06T06:28:00.000-07:00

More pictures

2009-06-25T13:08:00.001-07:00

Pictures

2009-06-22T08:07:00.001-07:00

Oops sorry steph I missed your tag

2009-06-19T06:08:00.000-07:00

Here is the belated tag for the 21 Things you Dont know about me....

21.) When I was really young, I told my mom I wanted to be a firetruck when I grew up.

20.) My Great Grandma on my dad's side is said to have been a full blooded Cherokee Indian. Her name was Gladyolis Whitefeather ( Gladys White )

19.) I am a Huge Daddy's girl

18.) My mom and I have become SUPER close now too - So I am a momma's girl now too

17.) I like to shorten people's names....Steph, Jack (jackie), and ie......

16.) My favorite pet ever was a black and white kitten named Buddah

15.) I have had my heart broken a lot by stupid dumb boys

14.) My favorite color has always been yellow

13.) I have wanted to name a boy of mine after my favorite church hymn - Christian Soldier

12.) I dont really know what my natural hair color is - oh well

11.) My favorite nail polish for my toes is; Hot Pink with Sparkles on top

10.) I love everything vintage - even the way women looked way back when

9.) My biggest fear is being helpless - I HATE seeing people I love in pain with no way to help them

8.) I cannot whistle the way normal people do

7.) During my typing class in JR High I did not pay attention because I sat next to a hottie in my class - so now I type messed up but still fast

6.) I wanted to join the Navy for the longest time to see the world and to make people proud

5.) I wanted to become an archeologist and work for a big museum

4.) Money doesnt matter to me but I want to give my son everything I can

3.) I have a big scar on my belly from when I almost died at 5 months old

2.) I am a HUGE fan of Jesus even though I am at a very bad place right now - He is still my saving light and I want to raise my son to meet Him and make Him proud

1.) Here is the big kicker - I have really smelly feet -GROSS I KNOW

Back to work

2009-06-15T09:45:00.000-07:00

I came back to work on June 10th. I decided to only take 6 weeks off because I am going on vacation to Disney on July 11th thru the 19th. I needed the money and I thought it was only fair to work at least a month before leaving again. But it seems everyday since I got back is getting worse. I want my boy. I want to spend every minute I can with him. I miss him so much throughout the day. I am sure this is normal but Its still a lot harder than I thought it would be. I wish I could be a stay at home mom now. I never wanted to before but I wish I could at least work from home. :(

On another note but same song - Marcus is getting big and I will be sure to include photos soon!!

Update on my little guy

2009-06-01T09:56:00.000-07:00

It is so hard to believe that he will be 5 weeks old tomorrow. It feels like time has jumped ahead without my realizing what's going on. He is so big. I took him to the doctor friday for a follow up and he is doing great. His nose is still kind of stuffy but I bought Little Noses saline for him and its working pretty well. I never thought I would be able to get into someone else's nose and not even flinch. But I guess what they say about doing it all for own child is true. I am just so glad he is getting better. Also at the doctors office I learned my little guy is 12 LBS. Huge in my book. Anyways... more pictures will follow.

Corey and Megs - I am SO excited to see you both. I cannot wait. Megs call me if you or your mom need help with the shower. I have it on good authority that Marcus cannot wait to meet his Aunt Megs and Aunt Corey. Love you girls

A simple message

2009-05-26T20:28:00.000-07:00

I have often used this blog as a sort of journal. Sometimes I write things very personal that I struggle with and sometimes, Its just little insights I have had in my journey. I have been able to express myself in an accurate manner and tried not to be to over powering or leave my readers feeling intrusive. I enjoy the stories and pictures of my friends blogs and I have been able to talk to friends I have not seen in a while or those long distance.

So the point to all this is that I have some things to say that have become very important and personal. This year, I was a new mommy on Mother's Day. At that point Marcus was about 2 weeks old and I was struggling with breast feeding and feeling a little discouraged. A week later I got mastitas and felt a little bit more discouraged but I was told to feed through it. So I did. Now things are much better and breast feeding is easier. I was a little sad because I felt all the stress was taking away from my new mom experience. But on Mother's Day - same day that Mark graduated from the University of Toledo we went out to dinner after the ceremony. I walked out to the car to feed Marcus and was walking back in and a woman and her husband walking out made a comment. I was holding Marcus close to my chest covered from the little droplets of rain and she said "Now that is the epitome of Mother's Day."

For some strange reason, it made me feel so proud. Such a simple message but I cannot begin to express how I feel about being a mom. I pride myself on my writing abilities. For instance, I can write a heck of a paper and can do so pretty easy. But ask my to tell you what motherhood means to me and I am at a loss. There is nothing I can say to truly express how great a gift Heavenly Father has given me. I want so much for my son. I want to give him all I have and more. Everyday I have moments where I just stare at Marcus and I cannot believe he is mine. He seems so perfect and amazing and I feel like such a gift, I do not deserve.

Breaking my heart

2009-05-24T15:22:00.000-07:00

I have always hated to see the little babies sick with runny noses and sad cries. Well it just so happens that Marcus has caught something that has been going around in the area. He doesnt have a runny nose or a fever but he has a super stuffy nose and wakes when he lays on his back from what I can guess is from the draining of his sinus. This has been a bit of a struggle because he will only sleep laying on my chest. While it doesnt bother me and is super comforting to have him close, I wonder what will happen tonight when it is bedtime. I called the pediatrician just to make sure she is aware and scheduled an appointment for Tuesday. She did give me some helpful suggestions. Such as;

For his stuffy nose - use saline to help break it up and then use the squeeze and suck round thingy (not sure the technical name) and also run the vaporizer. Good call registering for that mom - I knew it would come in handy.

For his sleeping situation, she suggested to prop his head up with adding a small thin pillow underneath his pack and play pad. I did that and he has been sleeping now for 20 minutes - PRAY it works. If not I am going to let him sleep in his car seat. Does that make me a bad mom?

Please Pray that my little guy gets better. Its breaking my heart when he cries and there is nothing I can do. Talk about feeling helpless - this is by far the worst.

Pictures

2009-05-19T07:12:00.001-07:00

Update

2009-05-18T20:29:00.000-07:00

So I figured it is about time to give an update on my new little family and some random babbling too.

Marcus had a doctors appointment one week ago today. He left the hospital weighing 8 lbs and 6 oz but at the appointment with his Ped. he weighed 9 lbs 12 oz. I guess you can say he is eating good. Lol. I had my appointment too. I am healing well after my c-section and walking a lot./ I have lost 31 lbs of my pregnancy weight so far and i would like to lose another 15-20.

Mother's Day was also Mark's college graduation day. What a copout for him. He stole my day being a college graduate but oh well... congrats to him too. I am so proud of him. I love him so much.

Breast feeding is going alright. Its definately harder than I anticipated and has been the cause of some stress. I had mastitis in my right breast and it hurt pretty bad. I had gotten a fever of 102.4 out of nowhere and I was SUPER tender and in pain. But I am slowly working through it.

Overall motherhood is treating me well... i find myself looking at my guy and still wondering what I did to deserve such a blessing. I would like to thank everyone who commented on how adorable my little guy is.

Jared - he does look like Mark but there is still a little me in there. He has my hair color lol
Megs and Corey - I am itching with anticipation for you both to meet your nephew. You will melt.

More pictures to follow tomorrow I promise.

Baby Marcus Alan Nagel

2009-05-02T15:26:00.000-07:00

Here are some pictures of Marcus born April 28, 2009 @ 2:28pm

8 LBS 14 OUNCES

20" LONG

Enjoy the pictures...

Anxiety

2009-04-23T06:27:00.000-07:00

I am not someone for surprises or jokes I don't get. I like being in the "know" with everything around me. So this whole pregnancy thing with the stages of wait and see has driven me insane. First it was, potty on the stick another 3 times to make sure. Next, wait to go to the doctor to take another test, wait and see. Time frame for those two: minutes but still....slow minutes. On to the 20 weeks part, pink or blue - I HAD to know. Then its the kicking and moving all around to ease a mommy-to-be's mind that her little guy or girl is doing good. Now, its the day to day waiting game! Will I have him today or will he wait for the due date. In my case, I get to wait until Monday night and into Tuesday morning to see what he will do. Yep, the induction date set for us going in on Monday night and then pitocin on Tuesday morning. Now on top of that I am anticipating whether or not He will fit thru and if thats why my doctor is not so subtly hinting C-section.

I just left the doctors office and I am NOT dilated AT ALL. And he is high. She also measured my belly, standard practice and I am still at 35. But I have an 8lbs baby. Lets be optimistic that I will lose the baby weight pretty quickly then.

All this is running thru my mind and I feel like I am going to explode at any moment. I am walking a VERY tight wire hoping not to fall apart before the end. Thank my lucky stars the count down is now to 5 days!!!

So I am not sure if it can be called relief

2009-04-15T10:55:00.000-07:00

I had an ultrasound today to determine why my belly was measuring small. So I went in today, after 2 nightmares last night and no sleep. My appointment was at 9:20 am and my brave sister volunteered to go with me! So we go into the room and I lay on the table and she starts rubbing all over and I see Marcus' adorable little face and he is amazing. She keeps going and I ask her to be honest and tell me what is going on. Well - she asks why and I tell her that I am measuring small and she said "SMALL!!" She proceeds to check Marcus out and says right now his weight in at 8 lbs 8 oz. give or take 1/2 a lbs. Oh my!! Anyways, he is great and there is nothing to worry about but she said I am literally ALL BABY. Yay for the hopeful sudden drop of the baby weight. Anyways I am including a picture of my little guy. If you cannot tell without being told, like me, what you are seeing - its his face! The two dark spots are his eyes and the really light is his nose and mouth. I think he is adorable! And I love him LOTS. Oh and I am getting induced on April 27th - for fear of his weight at full-term - What a switch of the gears huh!

Making you think on a Monday Morning

2009-04-13T06:06:00.001-07:00

In an effort to keep me positive in a world of negativity, I signed up for a daily life-quote to be sent to my email at work. Every once in a while I find one I REALLY like and today was one such day....Please read below...

Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are; your reputation is merely what others think you are.

Also - I have 2 weeks and 6 days left until my expected due date. However, last Thursday I was told I was measuring small my last few appointments so as a precaution I was set up with an ultrasound for next Wednesday. I am not overly worried because my doctor loves to play it super safe - and Marcus' heart rate has been fine and he still moves a lot - but if you would send good thoughts and keep my little guy in your prayers - I would appreciate it!!!

A mess to clean up

2009-04-06T10:42:00.000-07:00

I had my last baby shower this past weekend and I have to say it was PERFECT. It was my side of the family and my closest friends. I was surrounded by so many people that I love that it was special for that reason alone. But Marcus did get spoiled. Mark and I went into registering with the mind frame that we did not want to be greedy and register for things of vanity but when he got the gun - he went crazy - so I deleted some stuff off - shhh- Anyways we had a few basics that we still needed and got everything and SOO much more!

Here is one thing we got. I asked Corey to paint me a picture for Marcus' room and this is what I got. I have to say that it is beyond what I expected and I ADORE it! Mark loves it too. It is hanging right above his bassinet!

There will be more pictures to follow when I get a chance to put them on a disc and save them on my computer!!

Just a thought

2009-03-31T05:36:00.000-07:00

I have wondered what I will be like as a mom and my time to find out is shrinking as we speak, I was provoked more curiously by a picture I have of my Nephew Kallen and I. A little background - I moved home for this little guy! Steph told me 2 weeks before I left for Utah that she was pregnant. Talk about something that breaks your heart - but I am glad I missed most of her pregnancy because I heard she was a bear! Lol. I did unfortunately miss Kal's baby shower but I sent a gift box to her shower that made her cry. Anyways - Kallen and I have such an awesome relationship - I love the guy so much and would protect him with my life and often wonder if my sister get annoyed at how much I butt in to save him when he is getting yelled at. Not like in a negative way but I will suggest off the wall activities that I think will make him feel better. We also "fight" he loves Ben 10 and tansformers and stuff like that and he knows Aray will play as long as I can breath - lol. But I thought that I want to be that fun mommy who is a little immature but loves to play with her kid. I want to let Marcus experience the most amazing childhood filled with love, traditions, and good times. That is what I want for Kallen too! Even as his Aunt - If I left this world right now - I want Kallen to remember how crazy I was and how much fun I was. I want my sister to be able to say that I loved him so much and share fun memories. I think that is the kind of mom I want to be. But I know he wont be a perfect angel and there will be a need for discipline. He will be part Miller and Nagel - Watch out Delta!

I guess we will see soon enough! Until then Enjoy my bubby being crazy!

Ready, Set, Go

2009-03-26T06:25:00.001-07:00

Over the last few days, I have started to kick my preparation for Marcus into overdrive. I have started to get all my paperwork around for my disability thru work and Aflac, neatly put it in a folder and included it in the already packed diaper bag. I have 3 U of M outfits and an adorable "Mommy Loves Me" 4 piece set I found at Babys R Us and Kohls. I think the little socks are my favorite. But anyways I have all that stuff packed but I still need to pack for myself. I have also washed all of his 0-3 month outfits and folded them back into the 0-3month drawer of his little dresser. 3-6 is in another drawer and 6-9 in the bottom drawer.

Its kind of fun and scary at the same time. I am anxious about getting to meet my little guy but I am scared about all the changes that will literally happen the minute he is born. Mark cannot wait... its so cute - he thinks he is more anxious than I am but we will see. I have a bet that he is going to cry when he sees Marcus for the first time! I know I will be crying myself - whether it is from the pain (I am trying to stand strong and go natural) or every emotion granted to man kind when I get to hold him.

As of today - if I go full term to my due date - I have 40 days until arrival!!!

A picture to cherish

2009-03-11T05:27:00.000-07:00

I am really excited to have pictures my sister took of me prego! Not for vain reasons but I loved finding picture of my mom pregnant and she would say - "You were in there!" I am a little bit of a sentimental person if you don't already know it but I want to be able to show my little guy the same thing someday!

Enjoy!

I feel foolish

2009-03-09T11:33:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago my mom complained because my sister was reading " a stupid book" that she wouldn't put down for a second. My sister complained about being tired because she couldn't put her book down. Well I rolled my eyes and thought whatever. Its so trivial to be that hooked on a book. Well open mouth and insert foot. I am referring to none other than the Twilight series. I know I already posted a blog about it once but I am so sorry to say I am following in my sisters footsteps. This weekend Mark was gone from Thursday to late Saturday night at State Wrestling. I was glad because I got a stress free weekend and was about to read the rest of the second half of Twilight and I finished New Moon all on saturday. So saturday night I trucked my happy little butt to wal mart and picked up Eclipse. Mark would not let me read it, he is jealous it is taking up all my time. But I am pretty sure I can say I have never had a book grab me and hold my attention so intensely as this. Now I understand why so many people are in love this Edward and Bella's story. I feel foolish now for judgement. Am I crazy now too?!?! Does anyone NOT love their story?

Twice in one week

2009-03-05T11:18:00.000-08:00

I am not usually a flower girl and I had made it known to Mark. I like them but I feel bad for people spending money on them because they just die. I do appreciate when I get them though. It makes it special. So I got a flower delivery twice in 1 week. The first were from a family that was honored Monday night at the National Football FOundation banquet. Since I have done like everything to get it set up for the past two years, I go to the banquet at the end to see all my hard work come together. This is mind you, on top of my regular full time job and helping Mark with his school work. Well Tuesday afternoon the family patriarch brought me in these flowers.

The second are from Mark. We have been doing so well lately and getting excited for our little guy. I received them at work today. He has totally taken me for a surprise. And I should mention they are my first set of flowers from him in 3.5 years of dating!!

Ergh - Complaint

2009-03-03T11:33:00.000-08:00

Okay so I know that this may be a little annoying but I HAVE to vent. I am building all this negative pressure inside of myself and I am stressed out to a MAX. I am hoping that since one of my majoy stresses was over last night that it will get better but there is more.

To give a little short background - I have two bosses one female and the other a male who owns Team Sports. (I should also first add a clause that I am being 100% truthful and no exaggerations need to be added) Well my female boss for the last 6-8 months has given me everything that her boss has given to her. No one even knows her job anymore - she does nothing but plays on the internet and fixes the computers when/if something goes wrong. And on top of it - because she was not getting stuff done for the Owner who is her only boss - I got all of the purchasing, a job she has had for quite a while.

A little dent in her road of wanting to do nothing, she is all of the sudden worried about my maternity leave. For one reason of course, she will have to do work again. And she does not like that. She has an 11 year old son and if there is a 2 hour delay -she takes that delay. This year there have been 13 delays alone not including the closings. But She was pressuring me into taking only about a 4 week maternity leave. I felt cornered and like I had to agree even though in Ohio there is a law that includes companies of 4 or more employees to give an employee up to 12 weeks off. If they don't comply it is considered sexual discrimination.

The point to my rant is that she has been touchy lately since she was informed I will take at LEAST 6 weeks. So today - I tried to explain to her that the reason she was having problems booking a future order on Nike is because the web went down. She then accused me of arguing with her when I told her there should be a little box that pops up when she logs in. She threw a fit/ Mind you she is 47. I am tired of dealing with extra stress and I am quickly losing my love for my job and find no reason to stay here unhappy.

I just had to go and start it....

2009-03-02T11:19:00.000-08:00

So lately I have been feeling SUPER lazy and like I just want to dive into a good book. So I was at Wal Mart this weekend and I decided to go get me a book. Nothing special - anything really to help pass my time and slow me down a bit. So I get into their little section and Twighlight jumps out at me. I pick it up, its only $7.00 and some odd cents. Sunday afternoon, I am determined to relax because I know how crazy today is going to be and I start reading it. I could not put it down. I become so engrossed in the book, It was honestly not like anything I had done for years. I was so interested and I felt like I was getting excited for parts and chilled at others. So I stayed up last night until 12:45 am reading this book. I got half done! I am on page 263. Mark just rolled his eyes but I am a HUGE fan now. So I hope to finish the first book (I have not even seen the movie yet) and move on to the next ones. My sister has 2 and 3. I can honestly say, I am so looking forward to getting back to that book tonight!

Happy Friday

2009-02-27T08:18:00.000-08:00

Today I woke up at 4:30 -ish because I must have done something funky with my leg and got a HORRIBLE charlie horse in my right calf. It hurt so bad I was almost in tears. But I was determined not to be in a bad mood because we are having a dual baby shower today at work.

I am so excited for it. My mom and sister are coming with the kids. I am sure there will be pictures to follow. But there are going to be about 20 people there between the three companies that make up the Team Sports family. I have had a few of the ladies tell me they are so excited about shopping for Marcus and it makes me feel good. I love this little guy and want everyone that I know and love to be a part of his life and give him all the love he deserves. I am also really looking forward to My Dad and Kallen getting to know him. My Dad is just happy that I am finally having a baby - he says he honestly never thought I would, and for Kallen to get to be the hero big cousin that Marcus adores.

On another note - I am going after work to help out at our District Wrestling Tournament at Owens C.C. I am kind of pumped for that because I have not been able to just go and watch wrestling since like 2 years ago.

Getting so close

2009-02-25T06:10:00.000-08:00

Here I am at 30 weeks and 3 days. I have to say, for all the horror stories I have heard about the third trimester, I am actually very satisfied. My heart burn has stopped unless I wait to long to eat, then it comes on strong. I am sleeping pretty good, about the same for my second trimester. I am still tired all the time, but thats not so bad. I wake up about the same in the middle of the night. He still doesnt wake me up at night before 4 usually. I am happy. I have 9 weeks and 4 days left. My doctor told me that IF my cervix was soft and cooperating, they could induce me at 39 weeks. I think it is a little selfish wish but I hope that I can or just go naturally on my own at that point. I am just so eager to meet my little guy!! I never truly understood until now how great a miracle life is. I have to say I have learned so much from this experience and pray that those around me get to have this same opportunity someday! Soon!

Such a kid

2009-02-23T10:58:00.000-08:00

I have to say that I am so giddy lately with just about everything, except the 4 days when I was sick. I am excited for the count down, Mark and I are constantly talking about how much fun (and work) Marcus will bring. I cannot wait. Also this weekend, we went and bought a 32" flat screen for our bedroom and a WII!! I beat him in our first bowling game but then the six after I got my butt beat BAD. He has his "mojo" down with it! WHATEVER, who can really get 4 strikes in a row. But also, I love how much fun we had side by side playing. It just reassures me how much we have grown as a couple and how much fun we still have together. I LOVE IT ALL!!

Uggghhh Monday Mornings...

2009-02-16T04:51:00.000-08:00

I just have to say that I think Monday's are the worst days EVER. We should get another transition day between our weekends and workweeks. I needed about another 3 hours of sleep last night and this morning.

I may seem like a pessimist because of how emotional and passionate I am about a lot of things lately, but does any hate Mondays as much as I do.

I would not be surprised if I did not sleep on my lunch time today!!

A Week Makes a BIG Difference

2009-02-13T05:40:00.000-08:00

I was at work talking to my boss yesterday and we were discussing how long I have left until my due date. I said I am 28 weeks and 4 days but she said that didn't sounds right. So I went back to April 27 and counted back. The 27th to the 20th - One weeks and so on until I got to this coming Monday- ONLY 10 WEEKS. I will be 30 weeks on the 16th instead of only 29 weeks. Now, this may seem really trivial but I got SOOOO excited. Also yesterday, I got a copy of a picture that contains the small image of my niece or nephew Decker. I am so excited for Corey to watch her grow and become more excited as the weeks begin to pass by. She does need to start posting belly pictures soon - I wanna see that belly! :)

Also on another note regarding the previous "angry" post, I want to thank everyone who gave me advice. I appreciate the blunt answers and guidance. I know deep down inside how ugly I have become because of my anger towards this situation. And the problems between Mark and I are self created and fueled. I cannot make him hate his mother and I am sure he sees the better side of her. Before I got pregnant, I loved his mom like my own family and now that I am carrying her grandson, I should probably try to get that back. I am going to try to forgive and eventually forget what happened. But it is my hope that she, herself will be a bit better and treat Marcus like a prince, which is of course how I feel about him.

I think the main problem with all this is that I KNOW a thousand times over how unfortunate it is that he was conceived outside of a marriage. I wish that I did not create this situation for him to be born into but I am convinced that I can raise him to be a happy, healthy, and honorable person. I cannot express to anyone how I feel about this little guy already. I dream of the first time I will get to hold him and I am filled with more emotions that I can contain. I want to be the best mom I can be and fill his life with happiness and love. I must first remove bad things from my life to provide this. And I was wrong to think I should remove Mark's mom instead of looking inward and removing my anger and resentment. I am sincerely going to do everything I can in all humility to make this possible.

In Serious Need

2009-02-09T07:00:00.000-08:00

This post is something that is very personal and hard for me to deal with as Marcus' birth date draws closer. I am only bringing this to light because I am in serious need of help working out these issues before involving my innocent child.

As most of you know, I am pregnant and not married but have been dating Mark for over 3 years now. I got pregnant off of birth control and it was a total shock and surprise. My nurse at the Doctor's office stated that the form of birth control I was using is the one she has seen the most pregnancies happen with. Would have been nice to know, but it is irrelevant now. My point is, when I took the first test because I was a day late and it came back with two lines, to say I freaked out is an understatment. The first person to hear the news because I was at her house was Mark's mom. Her very first words were "Well he cannot marry you right now" and I know this because we had no money and he was not done with school. It has always been the plan just not quite yet. I then told her I did not understand how I could be pregnant because I was on birth control and she said verbatim " Well maybe you and your doctor should think of an alternative method..." my response "What like an Abortion?!" and she then boldly said "Well would you rather have a special needs child..." I was speechless and hurt. I told her 100% out of the question. I was then asked to not tell Mark that I was pregnant because he had plans for the weekend and it would ruin it.

So my dilema is that at that moment those words left her mouth - I have felt a hatred towards her. I know I should be better than this but I cannot seem to move past it. Possibly because of her maliciousness or the fact she is not sorry for what she said. I know that she was thinking of a way out of this for her son and that she had an out with the possibility that some complications could follow since I was on birth control. Every time she does something nice or kind, I try to let go and then it always comes back into my mind. I am now faced with the anxiety of letting her have anything to do with him, Mark wants her to watch him sometimes but it doesn't sit well with me at all.

I am heartbroken by the idea that she didn't want him and now acts like the proud Grandmother using his birth as bragging rights that in my opinion she doesn't deserve. I have cried so many times over this because I cannot believe that someone could be so cold and it gives me a knot everytime. I broke down this morning because I want her to have nothing to do with him, she lost that opportunity in my opinion. I just cannot make sense of all this and I know my stress is only hurting my son. And I want to be fair to him but I also believe that he deserves to be around those who love him and supported him despite the details of his birth. I am beating myself up because I know better than to harbor hate... but I do not know how to let this go. Please help

Count Down is to 80 days

2009-02-06T05:23:00.000-08:00

Here is a picture I took the other day after I had a wal mart check out lady and a guy I work with ask me if I was having twins. Wow Am I that big?!?

Yesterday was another Doctor's appointment. I am now at the point where I have to go every two weeks instead of once a month. Scary and exciting because that means Marcus big debut will be coming sooner than later. I do tell you that I am glad all I have left is about 12 weeks because I would not want to reverse it and go back to being just 12 weeks. Have fun Corey :)

How cute are my niece and nephew

2009-02-03T06:42:00.000-08:00

Look how big Kallen looks. I cannot believe my little bub is so big.

This is such a sweet picture of Makenna. She is so cute it is almost beyond words.

I love these pictures and plan to have the same person take Marcus' newborn pictures

Getting close

2009-02-02T10:24:00.000-08:00

Today I am 27 weeks and I cannot believe that I only have 13 to go. It seems like a long time when you say three months... But when you have gone 27 weeks already its like "Okay I can do this. "
So far I only have two complaints about being pregnant but I love the rest.

Complaint #1 - I am SO tired. I have never gained any of my energy back. Not that big of a deal but everyday I just want to go home and sleep after work but I cannot. I am going to try to walk at least a 1 mile to 2 miles a day and see if it makes a difference.

Complaint #2 - Heartburn - I hate tums but they are my new best friend!

As Marcus is becoming more active - which is hard to believe because he has already been kicking a ton - I love to show Mark the way he moves my entire belly. Even right now - he is going crazy. I want to know where he is laying right now. I think he has started to shift down a little bit because there is movement up at the top of my belly and little hiccups down below my belly.

I love this little guy!

2009-01-29T10:31:00.000-08:00

Here is Marcus' bassinet. It took Mark and I two hours since I screwed up and since he stripped one of the screws. The I also think we tightened it too much because it didn't sway right! Oh well! He isn't going anywhere in it!

A Fun Little Tag

2009-01-29T09:44:00.000-08:00

1. Choose a folder where you store you pictures.

2. Select the 4th picture in that folder.

3. Explain that picture.

4. Tag 4 People.

5. No Cheating (cropping, editing, etc.

MY PICTURE

This is my nephew one day outside pointing at a plane in the air. He is so amazing and I love the little guy with all my heart

I TAG:
COREY
MEGAN
MONICA
KASSIE

So this is what pregnancy looks like on me

2009-01-22T17:17:00.000-08:00

Here is my 25 week belly - I will be 26 weeks on Monday - I talked to Corey today and she said that she bets my belly is big - Here you go babe - I hope it makes you feel better...Love ya ENJOY

True Realizations

2009-01-19T18:16:00.000-08:00

Today was filled with crucial and necessary emotions. None of which I thought I would have to face anytime soon. But as Heavenly Father's wisdom is infinate, I needed a reminder of how precious life can be. My day started with not feeling well, possibly from bad chinese food from last night, so I missed work. Mark took my car to wrestling practice and I decided to lay back down. It was about 8:30 am when I received a call from Mark saying there was an accident on Airport Highway but that it wasn't him. Just as those word came out, he started to say " And I just about got into one... Oh bleep....." dead silence. My heart dropped. I finally got a hold of him and he said he got into an accident and that there was a little damage to my car. I was okay but there was little information given at the time. Come to find out he had avoided a dingbat who stopped because I trooper was driving with his lights on coming in the OPPOSITE direction. I may be wrong but unless its an ambulance or a cop car on the side of a lane, you do not have to get over or slow down. He was just driving with his light on, gimme a break. So anyways Mark tried to stop and get over but he hit a patch of ice and did a 360 and hit the stopped car and went into the other lane of oncoming traffic. If anyone knows Airport Highway, its busy and had lots of bad accidents.

So my true realization came in the form of, what if. I have about fifty that came to mind but the hardest to swallow comes in the form of What if I lost the man I love and a son losing a father without ever meeting him. I thought what if I had to raise our son and he never knew his father. Or what if I never got to touch him again. No kiss goodnight or cuddling until I went to bed. Soon after I really fell in love with him, I started to worry about losing him some day. I will lose my best friend and the person who makes me whole.

I finally broke down and starting crying pretty bad just thinking about the thought that I would never get to see him. So tonight I keep reminding myself to not even take one second for granted and to love him more so that If the What If ever comes true, I know he will never wonder if and how much I love him.

Counting down the weeks

2009-01-15T09:34:00.000-08:00

Here is a picture of my 24 weeks and 3 day belly. It is amazing how far it has stretched without bursting so far and I still have a little less than 16 weeks to go. My wish is to get a good nights rest, but it seems that is gone already. I have to go to the ladies room about 3 times a night and it hurts to sleep ANY WAY. I am a huge fan of sleeping on my belly but obviously I cannot.

I was just thinking the other day - how exhausted I am and how I have never experienced such a long length of time where I feel drained. But then I also have never been so happy either. Its so awesome to feel Marcus inside kicking or hitting or whatever else he maybe up to. As I have stated a few times before - I LOVE rubbing my belly! It is like a calming and relaxing exercise for me and it soothes my itching belly. But nothing is going to beat when I get to hold my son in my arms. Mark and I were talking the other day and He said something about holding him and bringing him over to me, and even that small little thought of seeing father and son, my love and my baby, it made me tear up and gives me little boosts of excitement.

2009-01-14T04:57:00.000-08:00

1. Post rules on your blog
2. Answer the 6 "8" items
3. Let each person know they have been tagged

8 Fav TV Shows:
1. Ghost Hunters
2. House
3. Ghost Whisperer
4. Forensic Files
5. NCIS
6. Extreme Home Makeover
7. Saving Grace
8. The Closer

8 Things I did Yesterday:
1. Woke Up 5 Times to Go #1
2. Showered
3. Brushed Teeth
4. Brushed and styled my hair
5. Went to Work
6. Ate about 5 meals
7. Drove Home
8. Went to Walmart and Ate Taco Bell at 10pm

8 Things I look forwad to:
1. My Baby Showers
2. My Next Doctors Appointment
3. My Meeting at Work Today -I am getting a bonus
4. Having Marcus
5. Taking My First Picture of Mark and Marcus Taking A Nap on The Couch
6. Summer and Walt Disney World
7. Maternity Leave
8. Cuddling upto Mark everynight

8 Fav Restaurants:
1. Red Lobster
2. Cafe Rio - Utah
3. Blue Pacific
4. Ricks in Napoleon
5. Winchesters in Delta - They have good French Onion Soup
6. Buffalo Wild Wings
7. Azul Tequila - Although I cannot eat there for the next few months - Baby doesn't like Mexican Food
8. All time favorite is - My mom's cooking. She is an excellent cook.

8 Things on my WISHLIST!
1. Healthy and Happy Baby
2. Become Debt Free
3. To be a good Mommy
4. See my niece and nephews happy
5. My parents to have financial security
6. To go back to get a degree in Nursing and make decent money
7. Good Health for my family
8. More Money in the Bank

8 People to Tag:
1. Corey
2. Megan
3. Sonya
4. Rachel K.

DUH

2009-01-07T11:17:00.001-08:00

I forgot to include the picture.....

23 weeks

2009-01-07T11:15:00.000-08:00

I cannot believe how big my belly has stretched. I have yet to get any stretch marks but I am sure they are coming. I have people at work laughing because of how big my belly has become. Ugh....16 1/2 weeks to go!

New Year

2009-01-06T04:35:00.001-08:00

This new year has been the only one that I can remember where I have not set any resolutions. I think that there is a big list of things I could and most certainly should be working on but I am blaming the baby. I am just sooooo tired all the time. And now the little guy kicks ALL the time but still lets me sleep for the most part. I get up and go #1 like 3 times a night and it isn't like a little "have to potty" sensation it is full bladder. He is also getting..."heavy" I guess I could put it. I have started to feel the weight. Which by the way I weighed myself- WOW!!!! I have gained more than I thought. But I am one week shy of 6 months so I guess its not too bad - But I thought I would only gain this much my whole pregnancy - I'm sure its because he will be a big baby. (Anything to make me feel better I guess) But Marcus is totally worth it! So I will stop complaining and be thankful!

On another note. Mark started his student teaching this morning. I got up with him at 5:30 am because I am dedicated - I could have slept another 2 hours before I had to get up- and ironed his shirt. I tied his tie and he was off. And if i can say without hesitation - He makes a HOT teacher. Lol but I am biased. As a girlfriend, I am so proud of him and how well he has done. I think that there is a small percentage of people who actually find what they were meant to do in a career and Mark is one. He is a moderate to intensive Special Education major and he does so great. Teachers and the kids love him. I am excited for him to graduate and get his own classroom so I can put a picture of our little family up on his desk.

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun....

2008-12-30T06:15:00.001-08:00

So last night I got to hang out with Megs and Corey. We ate at Panera and had really good smoothies. Megs had the mango and I had the strawberry - It was low fat (I would not have cared if it wasnt low fat but I really wanted it) and it was still really good. It was fun talking about things we had done in the past and how we laughed at ourselves then and again now. I got to show them both how dumb I am right now, baby brain is what Corey called it. We went to Wal Mart next. Corey rode with me and Megs lead... on the way Corey gives me a gift - a handmade little baby's blanket in Mark's school's colors - Delta is Kelly green,Black, and White. It was beautiful and no doubt will be put to good use... Mark loves it too. Big hit Corey :) ! She also gave me a matching ring to one she has and Marcus' first nunies... I call them nookies but everyone corrects me - I.E. my sister. Megs bought Marcus his first little onsies, adorable little tiny blue socks for him, and wash cloths. The kid is spoiled already. But it is only because I am surrounded with people who love me and who I cannot appreciate enough! I am very very blessed...I hope to one day be able to give them the credit they deserve!!

Even though I cut out early, like 8 pm, last night was soo much fun. I laughed more in two hours than I have in a while. Its just what those two bring out in me!! I cannot wait to spoil their children someday - hopefully soon.

22 weeks and growing...

2008-12-29T11:25:00.000-08:00

Here is my 22 week belly. I feel like I have just expanded so much in the last couple weeks. Its nice now because people can see that I am not just into weird food combinations but that I am pregnant. I have not seen any stretch marks yet but I am sure they are coming. I have gain 19lbs to date. It seems like a ton to me since I read that most women gain 25-35 lbs and I JUST hit the half way point two weeks ago. I am going to slow way down on my salt intake and more on fresh fruits and veggies. I am not going to get crazy but I think that maybe I am eating a little to much fast food :) Ooops

On a side note: Today I get to see Corey, Megs, and I believe Rachael Kirkham. I am so excited. I cannot wait to take time and feel like we are back in the old days when we didn't really have to be so grown up. I miss those days when we would get together and spend all day and night laughing. Corey with her chainsaw laugh, Megs with her dancing to the music in the car. These two girls have been like sisters to me and I miss them sooo much.... My favorite is when Corey and I took a road trip with Megs. She was headed off to EFY in NY. I almost hit an Amish buggy and it was soo much fun! Corey and I got our I HEART NY t-shirts. If only there were a hundred more times like that!!

Finish the sentence

2008-12-26T12:27:00.000-08:00

Finish the sentence - It is really fun :)

I am Pregnant with a baby boy

I know everything will be okay

I want to be financially stable for my family

I have some new maternity clothes

I wish I was In Florida right now with Mark and Marcus laying out working on a tan

I hate when customer service people are rude

I miss Mark but he is doing everything for Us

I fear the stupid people on the road

I Feel pain when I see someone alone, and when I cannot do anything to help my family

I hear my nephew call -Aray and My niece's tiny giggles

I smell my old heater at work - Uck

I crave lasagna - crab legs- and lobster tail

I search for answers all the time

I wonder what Marcus will be like - Mark or I

I regret things I have done to hurt others and to curve my path

I love my family more than I can express and My special blue bundle of joy!

I care about making my loved ones happy

I always tell people I love - I love you - You never know when it could be your last words to them

I am not so sure how much weight my knees can take - they hurt already

I believe that God has given me such a great gift

I dance only when I have the energy to get my lazy bum up these days

I sing out loud ALL THE TIME

I fight mean - but I regret a lot so I try not to

I write in this blog like its my new joournal

I lose my temper a lot when I drive

I win when I give Mark the silent treatment - then he knows I am seriously mad

I never leave a bathroom without washing my hands

I listen to the radio every morning on my way to work

I am scared of being helpless

I need to remember to take my prenatal EVERYDAY

I hope I will be a good Mommy

Classic old pictures

2008-12-18T12:31:00.001-08:00

It feels so long ago but I love these ladies still SO much!

Blessed

2008-12-18T10:35:00.000-08:00

Over the last 3 1/2 months, my life has changed completely. I know that it does for everyone who finds out they are having a baby but I believe my change has gone deeper than I realized at first. For instance, I know I do not deserve the chance to be a mother right now but I feel blessed nonetheless for it. I have really been struggling so much with the guilt of how I got pregnant and that it happened outside the union of marriage. I make no excuses and have regrets... but I still cannot get over the immense feeling that this is the best thing to ever happen to me. I love this child so much and think about him constantly throughout the day. I think about what he will be like, how he will grow, if he will be athletic or smart, and if he will be like me or his father. But I always think of him with such gratitude that I cannot describe. A little over a year ago, I thought I had a disease that is shared by my mom and sister called P.C.O.S. that would prevent me from even having children. I got checked and everything was okay - I was clear. I was scared that I never would have the chance to be a mom and then I thought - Do I really want kids - it scared me bad - being in charge... I like to hang out and play but go home to sanity. But now, with Marcus Alan (our baby's name) I feel him kick and I find myself constantly touching my belly in eager anticipation for the next one. I take good care of myself now because I know he already depends on me. Some choices I have made in the past are no longer a question, I will always be able to be there in a second with no hesitation or problems.

To be honest with everyone including myself - I believe that this is the most defining thing I will ever be a part of...I will be a good wife but I want to be one heck of a mom. I cannot wait to see Marcus grow and talk and make me proud of who he is. My heart was full before I got pregnant but now its complete!

Here is another picture of my muscle man

2008-12-17T06:25:00.001-08:00

Here he is...

2008-12-17T06:00:00.000-08:00

ITS A BOY

2008-12-17T05:51:00.000-08:00

Yes... I am having a little blue bundle of joy!! I cannot wait to see what my son is going to look like. Thanks to everyone who loves and supports this whole process I get to experience. I love you all and appreciate you more than you know!

PINK or BLUE

2008-12-16T05:46:00.000-08:00

I would like some guesses - What do you think PINK or BLUE - girl or boy!! I get my ultrasound today at 3:30 pm so lemme know. I am clueless myself

Just a little quick note

2008-12-15T09:37:00.000-08:00

I just wanted to comment on how great of a day today is. So far it has been running smooth and without a hitch ( I think that is how that saying goes ). But it got WAY better when I got an answered prayer - for someone else!! I love this person soooooo much and cannot wait for the good things to keep rolling for them!! YAY FOR YOU...You know who you are!! Distant kisses and hugs...love ya

Sweet Dreams

2008-12-12T07:28:00.000-08:00

I forgot to include my dream in my last entry. And again as you guessed it - It is about the only thing I talk about on here - My baby!!

So I have not really narrowed down what I think I am having anymore. At first I thought it was a girl and then a boy and now I am unsure but in my dream it was a BEAUTIFUL baby girl. She was so pretty with dark hair and big eyes. She had a round face and was smiling and coo-ing. It was an awesome dream. It made me feel all warm inside. Lol

I had this dream no doubt because I am constantly thinking about Tuesday and what news we will get. I am torn now because I want a boy so I can watch him wrestle and play football but I think I would have a very sweet little girl. I am sure she will be prissy just to get back at me for not being a girly girl but that would be okay. I have come to conclude that as long as he or she is healthy that is all I want. Everything is going to be okay!!

Have I told you I am sooo excited for Tuesday?!

So excited

2008-12-12T05:08:00.000-08:00

I had my check up yesterday with my OB. Everything went great. I love that I get to hear my baby's heartbeat every time I go to the Doctor. My mom bought my sister a little contraption that you put on your belly and listen with headphones and you can hear the heartbeat yourself. I tried but I think I am too early still.

I have a fun little baby that must already understand humor! It seems that he/she kicks at the most random but perfect moments. Like when I am at work and I am talking on the phone and it surprises me and I fumble over my words. Yeah, that really funny! Or when I start to raise my voice to Mark or He makes me mad, the baby kicks, really he/she does. Almost in a manner like, Don't be mean to daddy. Mark thinks it is particularly funny!!

Remember; The count down is now to 5 days until I can give my baby a name - Either Marcus or Madison! Yay for technology. I was told to drink some high sugary drink so that the baby is active and they can get a good view of everything!! I AM SOOO EXCITED FOR TUESDAY

New picture

2008-12-08T06:29:00.000-08:00

Here is the latest picture of the growing baby bump. I am feeling the baby kick a lot now! Most are still faint kicks but every once in a while I get a good one! Those catch me off guard and I tend to jump but It is another amazing feeling. It takes some of the stress out of being pregnant for me when I can feel my baby moving!! This trimester is fun so far but I am already getting anxious and want it to be over!! Remember December 16th is coming up soon and I will let everyone know what we are having!

New haircut

2008-12-02T12:54:00.001-08:00

I hate it by the way- My hair was so long and the lady cut it about 3 inches shorter than I wanted. I hate it!

The anticipation

2008-12-02T12:29:00.000-08:00

I cannot wait until December 16, 2008. This is the date that I will find out what color to dress my bundle of joy. Boy or girl - Blue OR Pink - Yellow is a must no matter what since it is my favorite color.

Oh and an update - The cute little belly isnt so cute anymore. It is starting to get bigger and bigger and so the scale rises with it. But I am eating mostly healthy food with a big mac every now and then!!

Thanksgiving

2008-11-26T07:43:00.000-08:00

I just wanted to wish everyone an early Happy Thanksgiving!! Tomorrow will be nice to hang out with the family and in my case, EAT EAT EAT!!! Its all sounds so good too!! I am sure I will over eat like always. But I also feel that I have a TON to be thankful for so here is a small list of some of those things.

1.) A forgiving and endlessly loving Savior (even when you are in big trouble)
2.) A job and steady income
3.) A great family
4.) Mark - Even though he can be a pain sometimes
5.) My growing Baby Nagel
6.) My supportive friends
7.) My health
8.) My niece and Nephew-I know they fall under family but they are so amazing to me I love em
9.) Ice Cream Blizzards from Dairy Queen
10.) A day off
11.) Those keeping my safe in far away lands and here at home

A few forgotten moments

2008-11-25T12:02:00.000-08:00

Today I got an email and it reminded me of somethings. Of course my hormones are a little higher than normal but I am always emotional and this didn't help. I read the email and it was about a lady passing judgment on a homeless man and her baby bringing her a realization that everyone is special and deserving. But the description of the man brought me back to a time when I met a homeless guy in Salt Lake outside of Temple Square. His name was Shannon and he reminded me of my Grandpa Miller back in Ohio who was recently diagnosed with lung cancer. So then after thinking about Shannon- I thought of my Grandpa. Unfortunately, he lost his battle with cancer on January 29th 2008. I had stayed with him the night before (awake about 26 hours) knowing that these were our last moments on Earth. He had always been stubborn and sometimes mean but always my Grandpa and I miss him dearly. But I had not thought about that sad time for a while because of how happy I had been about the baby. But for some reason today after reading that email - I realized that this was going to be my Grandma's first Christmas alone without him for the last 52 years. It broke my heart but I realized what I have to do and hope to get my other family members involved. My Gramps loved her soooo much and I know he would want us to take care of her and make her happy!!

I appreciate this time of year because of how softened everyone's hearts can be!! I think that even though he is gone, my Grandpa is still leaving his influence with the love he always showed my Grandma when they were still together. In couples like that and moments around this time of year, the word love has meaning!!

On a date

2008-11-25T06:36:00.000-08:00

This was a game Mark and I went to. My boss gave us tickets- It was the U of M vs U T game!! We had pretty high up seats but they were free so I will not complain! My camera got great picture though!!

Week 17

2008-11-22T22:54:00.000-08:00

Here is a picture of my growing belly, ENJOY!!!

Soo tired

2008-11-20T11:09:00.000-08:00

These last few days, I have become extremely exhausted about 2:00 PM. I mean EXHAUSTED. The kind of tired where you could fall asleep in any kind of environment in a matter of seconds. It is terrible. I have to suffer through the next three hours thinking of how good it would to be in my nice warm comfy bed. But not to make matters worse - I got what I really really wanted for my birthday yesterday - A BODY PILLOW. My sister swore by it when she was pregnant and so I HAD to try it and so I took one of Mark and I's free pillows and slept on it and it felt soo good. And since my birthday was coming up soon - I knew what to ask for! Last night I got into my warm bed and tucked the pillow until it was just right and slept so good. Well minus the 3 times I got up to go #1. Other than that - Best rest I had in a very long time!!

Every pregnant woman should have a body pillow!! Remember that too Corey - That will be my congrats gift to you when you get preggo... Another prescription from the Doc :)

Makenna Clair and I

2008-11-18T19:45:00.001-08:00

One more picture for viewing pleasure is a picture of my niece when she was a day old.

Kallen Drake

2008-11-18T19:43:00.000-08:00

Here is one of my favorite pictures of my nephew

2008-11-17T07:57:00.000-08:00

I forgot

2008-11-17T07:54:00.000-08:00

I am going today after work to get my hair cut!!! This is very close to what I want but I am going to cut it longer a little bit!! I need something fresh. My hair is long and drag!! It is my birthday gift to myself

A few more firsts

2008-11-17T06:02:00.000-08:00

This weekend was pretty quiet for the most part. I was super lazy and relaxed. But for the first time this weekend I felt the baby moving. It was weird at first but I am getting used to it! I felt what I want to call a muscle twitch but my sister said it might have been him/ her kicking me!!
Its all so exciting. Just in time for my birthday Wednesday!! The big 24...Whoo hoo

Oh and today - I am 16 weeks... only 24 more to go ideally!! Lol

Something Fun and Exciting

2008-11-14T08:51:00.000-08:00

Team Sports - My employer of 2 years and some odd months is having a special Christmas party this year. We were all invited to attend A Christmas Carol playing at the Stranahan theater on December 6, 2008. Big shocker I even got Mark to go. He fits in very well with the guys here at Team Sports. I am 1 of 10 girls here with about 40 men, some boys. For anyone not familiar with where I work, We are a head to toe sporting goods supplier and corporate outfitter. We do EVERYTHING sports. Its fun & I get lots of perks like Mud Hens tickets and Tiger Tickets, Football tickets and I help out with the National Football Foundation Wister Chapter here in Toledo. Its fun! I get to attend the banquet and listen to the speaker who is usually a pretty big deal in the sporting world. Plus I can get anything I want from like Nike and Adidas and Under Armour for our cost. Which is really really good!

But back to the Christmas Carol, I have already stated I am so excited for Christmas but this is making me so much more excited about the season. I love Thanksgiving and have a lot this year to be thankful for so its not only Christmas I am eagerly anticipating. At the risk of sounding so pathetic - I am seriously happier right now at this point in my life than I have ever been but not without regrets. But I believe I am still entitled to appreciate the gifts I have been given.

Update

2008-11-13T10:25:00.000-08:00

Today was my doctors appointment and I have started my rotation. There are three doctors in my OB office and so I had my first appointment with a new one. He was really nice and very warm. I really like him - I think I like him better than my regular OB/GYN. He was the doctor that the ER doctor spoke with to clear me for a CT scan. I cannot tell you minus the scheduler who was actually nice today - how awesome my OB office is. I will never go to anyone else but them, EVER.

So the update - the nurse took my weight and at 15 weeks and 3 days I have gained 6 lbs. I got so sick in the first trimester that it is no wonder I havent gained much. But not bring on the food, I feel great. Also the nurse took my blood pressure it was 112/76. YAY it was way lower than what it was in the E.R. I think (it was close) 132/86 or 136/82 one of those two. It was high. But he said everything looks and sounds good.

Yep I got to hear baby Nagel's heartbeat again. And again I cried - It seems I still cannot get used to the idea of the little baby growing inside of me. I have heard the heart beat 4 times now and it still gets to me each time!! I have felt the baby move once or twice so far but the Doc said I have about another 2-3 weeks before he/she will kick me and I can feel it. I never knew approaching motherhood could be this intense, exciting, and emotional. I am so happy right now

Wednesday

2008-11-12T12:38:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow I have my doctors appointment and I am eager to talk to him about what has been going on for the last week. But the two best parts of my day tomorrow are going to be A.) I will get to hear Baby Nagel's heartbeat again and B.) I will be setting my next ultrasound appointment to find out the sex of my baby!! YAY.

On a side note - I love Wednesdays... My favorite show is on and it always has a relaxed feel to it for me. Plus for dinner tonight spaghetti - I am a HUGE pasta fan. Also for lunch today I got a HUGE salad w/ grilled chicken and I ate it all up. It feels good to feed my belly!!

And to finish this random blog with the most random information - Mark's Mom took a retirement package from Jeep after working there for 30 years and decided as a gift to the family to take us all down to Disneyland. So in July sometime with a brand new baby in tote - we are headed off to Florida and I am really excited. Mark has a 5 year old niece Alaina, a 2 1/2 year old nephew Connor, and Colin who is about 7 months old so it will be a fun trip. I cannot wait. My only fear is getting my body back into some sort of shape by then. Yeah right

Little side note

2008-11-10T10:21:00.000-08:00

I changed to a Christmas theme background - If you cannot tell I am way too into the Christmas mood this year - So much so that I am listening to Christmas music - I am sure this is annoying since it is not even technically winter until December sometime... Oh well

Its growing....

2008-11-10T05:24:00.000-08:00

Today I am 15 weeks and growing - It seems that every morning when I wake up my belly is bigger - which only makes sense but it feels like one day last week I woke up and it was just there!! So I decided to share my belly with you all. It looks weird to me but I am happy so say that most of the weight has gone straight to the front of my belly but the rest has gone to my expanding rear too - not so good. I have only gained about 5-6 lbs so far but I am sure that will change with the holidays...

So now that its starting to calm down

2008-11-07T07:10:00.002-08:00

After all the excitement that has happened this week, I am finally coming down from panic mode. I am not so worried about what is going on with myself but I believe that it is my blood pressure. I did get a random bloody nose one day last week but I read that can happen to women who are pregnant due to increase blood flow (or something with respiratory tract lining receiving more blood). This is all still foreign to me...

But the point of this post is to again speak of how I feel about my baby. I was so nervous in the E.R. worrying about the baby... I just wanted to be told everything was okay and that we could both come home. But I could not deny how weird it was to lose my eye sight and to go numb on my hand and cheek.

But I do want to share that I was so nervous and crying in the E.R. begging Heavenly Father to allow my baby to be okay. When I first found out I was pregnant, I was scared and unsure! Since I of course do not believe in abortion and hate every form of it - I knew I was going to have this baby. It was hard for me to accept and be happy about right away, I knew at least 3 other people who deserved a baby before me and I was fighting with a lot of different emotions. I knew better and I know I will have to own up for my mistake someday. But as I was first introduced to my baby via the inital ultrasound, I have fallen in love with the baby. He/she has completely changed my life - Everything I do now is for my baby. I have never had these kinds of feeling and emotions.

Okay so I am done for now! I feel bad and apologize that this is becoming my online journal - But I do not get to see most of you at all and I want you all to know me.

Baby Nagel - Possibly Baby Boy Nagel

2008-11-07T07:10:00.001-08:00

This is the little guy just hanging out

More Baby Nagel Pictures

2008-11-07T07:10:00.000-08:00

This is my little monkey man sucking his thumb!!!

Very Grateful today

2008-11-05T16:11:00.001-08:00

Yesterday at about 4 o'clock, I sat down at my computer to finish placing an order and to my surprise, all of the sudden, I lost partial eye sight. I started to get a headache following that so I shut my computer off and the lights to my office and sat there until I could drive. So I went to my sister's house and decided to lay down and take a nap - I had NO energy and I felt like I was in a hase. Well a few minutes after I lay on the couch, My left hand went numb and so did the left side of my face. That all went away in a matter of ten minutes.

So today I called the OB and my regular Doctor and they made me go to the ER I got looked at and so did the baby. Everything is okay but the Doctors have no idea what happened. STRANGE... But a good thing that came from this- While awaiting the results from my CT scan of the head - A separate Doctor came in and said that he was training another Doctor who was going to Africa and asked if he could do an ultra sound... umm HECK YES So he did and I got to see the baby again... The picture is of my baby sucking his thumb... Now I say his because the Doctor thinks he saw a boy part - But I am only about 14.5 weeks so he said Dont Quote me on it... But yay for seeing my baby. He said everything is okay and developing as it should be. He also has a very strong and solid heartbeat...

During this whole ordeal I kept saying OVER AND OVER Please don't let anything be wrong with my baby - And in the end I got a very special gift from Heavenly Father in the form of a Doctor going to Africa....

All I have to say is .... I LOVE MY BABY

11/2/08

2008-11-02T17:18:00.000-08:00

Watch Your Thoughts
For They Become Your Words

Watch Your Words
They Become Your Actions

Watch Your Actions
They Become your Habits

Watch Your Habit
For They Become Your Character

Watch Your Character
It Becomes your destiny

Life is what happens to youWhile you're busy making other plans

10/30/08

2008-10-30T09:57:00.000-07:00

Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending

When you have nothing left but love, then for the first time you become aware that love is enough

Something I Love Doing Is

2008-10-30T09:46:00.000-07:00

I love collecting quotes and sayings. I used to have a book that I made with all of these quotes on different subjects that I would write down. Every once in while on cards to friends or in my very rare scrapbooking moments, I would use them....

The point is that I want to share this with you too... Sometimes they will be motivational, about love, about strength and faith, and some just random depending on my mood... No matter what I will try to post a saying or two every day.

This is my gift to anyone reading my blog...

SCARY HAPPENINGS

2008-10-30T07:13:00.000-07:00

Okay so this morning I got a little shocker and it made me feel terrible and scared....

Last night after work I went and hung out with my family - My mom made meatloaf patties - ALWAYS YUM!! And Kallen beat me up as normal - Well I left and went back to Mark's house and got there around 8pm-ish. But before getting there I went to the gas station in Delta and got some homemade rice crispy treats because I knew Mark loves them.

I got home and realized I forgot my 2% Milk and asked Mark to go to the grocery store get it... I ended up changing my mind and told him to just bring me a small glass of whole milk. The night went on and this morning at work he calls me about 9 am and asked what time I wanted him to go get my milk and I told him about 8ish when I got home -

SUSPENSE -

Well he tells me that the grocery store was ROBBED AT GUN POINT at 8:00 pm last night!! Some crazy guy wanted money and drugs from the pharmacy - I of course being emotional cried because knowing Mark he would have tried to have been heroic and WHO KNOWS what could have happened. So today I am feeling a HUGE sense of gratitude.

Our story

2008-10-29T06:16:00.000-07:00

Only one or two people who look at my blog know the story of Mark and I. Mark is of course, my boyfriend of 3 years minus a break here and there. So, I want to tell anyone who is interested in hearing the story.

It started out with my Junior year in high school. Mark was a wrestler at Delta and I took stats for wrestling at Liberty Center. The two school are huge rivals in wrestling and some years football too. So back to the story, so my junior year, Liberty's wrestling coach came over to me and said "Nagel" (Mark's last name) is asking about you... In high school I did not date much because I was so annoyed by immaturity and I wanted better things for my self than forever living in Liberty Center.

So there was our junior year, at the end of the wrestling season we were formally introduced and that was it. Nothing happened. Next we met at a Gas station by the Toledo airport in passing. He talked to me for about 1 minute and had to leave. Again, nothing happened.

In 2005 I moved to Utah for about 8 months and decided to come home for a weekend in June for my parents anniversary. I took my little cousin up to the ice cream place and he came walking up as I was getting into my car. Again, nothing happened.

So in late September 05 - I moved back to Ohio because my sister was having her baby, my Grandpa and Nana were sick - It was time to come home. So I did and two weeks after I got home, I went back to work at a place I had worked in the past. Guess who shows up, Mark. Soo random. This time, he gave me his number. We went out and the rest is history...

I know that Mark is a little rough around the edges but for once in my life now, I feel like I have someone who I want to love forever. He is a dork and makes me so mad sometimes but I cannot ignore how I feel. I know I have some work to do because I want to carry this over into eternity. We are starting our own family now and I have asked him to take the discussions so he knows for sure what we believe in. I told him my desire for FOREVER and he told me he has thought about that and about wanting to see his father again.

In the previous weeks, I have started to get excited about this baby because I know that he/she is a blessing no matter how she was created. I do know, it was not the right way but I refuse to regret my own flesh and blood and I know I will have to face my mistake someday. All I can do now is be happy and move forward. I am excited the kinds of change this baby will bring and what it will do for both Mark and I. I am already SO IN LOVE with this baby, I cry everytime I realize that I will get to hold him/her soon.

2008-10-28T11:14:00.000-07:00

Lists of FOUR4 random things I like about my boyfriend:
1. He makes me laugh
2. He has made me less scared about being prego
3. He love chilren
4. He's very patient with me :)

4 jobs I have had:
1. Accounts Receivable
2. C.S.R. for a cash advance place - sad job
3. Ice cream server in high school
4. Waitress at a sports bar

4 Movies I have watched more than once:
1. 10 things i hate about you
2. the little mermaid
3. Free willy
4. The Goonies- Best movie EVER made

4 TV shows I watch:
1. Ghost Hunters -Grant is HOT
2. Bones
3. NCIS Reruns
4. The first 48

4 People who email me regularly:
1. My boss
2. My Nike customer service guy
3. Angie Light
4. Nina

4 of my favorite foods:
1. Lasagna
2. Manicotti
3. Sugar Cookies
4. Fried chicken roll ups - IM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW

4 Places I would like to visit:
1. Jerusalem
2. Cozumel
3. Jamaica
4. Tahiti

4 things I am looking forward to this year:
1. Christmas for Kallen and Makenna
2. Growing my belly out
3. Feeling my baby kick
4. Finding out what sex it is going to be

4 People to tag:
1. Corey
2) Sonya
3) Megs
4) Rachel

ABC Tag -

2008-10-28T06:38:00.000-07:00

A- Attached or Single: Attached
B- Best Friend: Mark
C- Cake or Pie: Strawberry Rhubarb
D- Dog or Cat: Great Dane
E- Essential Item: FOOD Mom's cooking
F- Favorite Color: Yellow and Fuschia
G- Gummy Bears or Worms: Gummy Bears -the Orange and red kinds
H- Hometown: Liberty Center Oh
I- Indulgences: Lasagna
J- January or July: July
K- Kids: Anew baby in May
L- Life is incomplete without: Love, faith, hope and family
M- Marriage Date: Eventually lol
N- Number of Siblings: 1 sister
O- Oranges or Apples: Mandarine Oranges
P- Phobias or Fears: Something happening to Mark and that my pregnancy will be okay
Q- Quote: A Man with an Arguement is No Match for a Man With an Experience...
R- Reason to Smile: Holding my baby for the first time - Im so excited now
S- Something New: U of M baby outfit
T- Tag: Nobody-
U- Unknown Fact About Me: When I was little I said I wanted to be a Fire Truck
V- Vegetarian or Oppressor Of Animal: I would live to become a veggie again but sometimes meat is really good
W- Worst Habit: Messy Car
X- X-Rays or Ultrasounds: Ultrasounds
Y- Your Favorite Food: Lasagna, Corn Pudding, Manicotti, Spaghetti with my mom's Rachel Ray Meatballs, Butterfingers, Ricotta cheese, swiss cheese, and Honey Roasted Turkey Breat lunch meat with spicy mustard...Its okay Im pregnant, I know I sound like a pig
Z- Your Favorite Zoo Animal: Cute little baby Monkeys

Excited

2008-10-24T05:46:00.000-07:00

For some reason I have never really gotten into the Christmas spirit like other people do...But this year I keep getting excited as the weather changes. I am even looking forward to listening to the local radio station which plays Christmas music for like a month.

Another reason for the excitement is the fact that by the beginning to middle latest of December, I will have had my ultrasound and will find out the sex of my baby. I want a boy REALLY bad but I get this feeling it will be a little princess...

So not only will I be buying for my awesome nephew and beautiful niece but my own baby as well...I cannot wait to start looking at baby clothes and little bits of decoration to add to the baby's room. I think my FAVORITE decoration will come from Corey. I have asked her to paint me a picture for the baby's room and I am so eager to see it and display it proudly.

Maybe its the hormones, its probably the hormones but every little emotion lately has been so intense. I am have soo much to look forward to and I cannot wait

This sweet little angel

2008-10-23T06:01:00.000-07:00

Here is an update picture of the new edition to my sisters family!! She is so sweet and looks so peaceful. I am practicing changing her diaper so that when I HAVE to do my own childs it wont be such a shock. I did not realize how many diapers my sister has to go through with such a little baby...For instance last night I changed her and not five minutes later she went #2 again and she wont do ANYTHING with a messy bottom...

What did she do....

2008-10-22T10:00:00.000-07:00

My sister did the something terrible...She cut all my nephews curls...I am so mad....He is still way adorable but she is making him look so grown up now. Here is the picture with his cheese smile.